Fun_People Archive
26 Sep
BHODA - 9/26/00

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Tue, 26 Sep 100 22:49:02 -0700
To: Fun_People
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Subject: BHODA - 9/26/00

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Forwarded-by: Jack Doyle <doylej@peak.org>
Excerpted From: <bonehead@oddballs.com>
26-Sep-00 Bonehead Of The Day Award

Today we bestow THREE Bonehead Awards

Finally! A zero tolerance bonehead award. And why not?  School is back in
session, right?

For those who are new to this, a Zero Tolerance bonehead award is given to
a group or individual who applies a ''zero tolerance'' policy without using
any thought or common sense.  Who uses new definitions for words to make
them fit more serious crimes so a more severe penalty can be applied.

This first of the school year zero tolerance bonehead award goes to the
school district in Green Bay, Wisconsin.  The story, within hours of
publication, had already reached European news services which will no doubt
have fun with it.

Green Bay school superintendent Tom Joynt suspended a third-grade boy from
school.  Why did he do this?  Joynt explains it thusly, ''The student was
suspended for having a replica of a gun.  School district policy states,
'The possession of facsimile firearms is also prohibited (including) any
replica, toy, starter pistol or other object that bears a reasonable
resemblance to, or can be perceived to be, an actual firearm.' ''

If you go to the original article at
http://www.greenbaynewschron.com/page.html?article=104279 you will see this
''replica.''  It is at the end of a key chain, bought at a gumball machine,
and is no more than 1 3/8 inches in length and kind of resembles a gun
thing. Is this perceived to be an actual firearm?

The mother is appealing and wants this taken off her son's record. ''I
don't think this falls into that category,'' she said. ''It's a key chain.
I think it's a little extreme. How far will this policy go? I think they
just should have taken it away from him with a warning to not bring it back
before suspending him.''

Joynt actually believes he is being a nice guy.  He says that because of
the gumball key chain, that the student could have been expelled ''and the
police could have been called.''

Interestingly, back in January, we gave a zero-tolerance bonehead award to
the Bloomington, Illinois Irving Elementary School for the exact same
situation.  You can see that story at
http://www.escribe.com/humor/bonehead/m175.html

Do you think the boy should have a dangerous weapon violation on his record?
You can send your views to superintendent Joynt at TJoynt@greenbay.k12.wi.us

It may be a good idea to copy the Green Bay News Chronicle into your
correspondence. Their Email address is tom.brooker@gogreenbay.com

Green Bay News Chronicle 25-Sep-00
http://www.greenbaynewschron.com/page.html?article=104279

Ananova 25-Sep-00
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_68287.html
-----------------------------------------------------

Bonehead award two goes to the Nottinghamshire Police in the UK who issued
a warning to all forces across the UK stating that one of their patrol cars
had been stolen, only to eventually find it in the garage for repairs.

The force spokesman said dryly: ''It seems there was some confusion about
where it was, but today the vehicle was located and we have called off the
search for it.''

Ananova 22-Sep-00
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_65882.html
-----------------------------------------------------

Bonehead award three is from a story sent to me by list member Linda
Thuringer.  Thanks, Linda!

A Bakersfield, California woman received a phone call from her estranged
boyfriend telling her that he placed a pipe bomb outside the house in the
bushes and that he was going to blow her up along with the house.  So, she
went outside and, lo and behold, she saw the bomb.

If you or I were told there was a bomb outside our home, we'd get the police
ON THE TELEPHONE from some other location (we wouldn't have even gone to
look for it either). But if you're a bonehead you load your three children
into the pickup truck, along with the bomb, and start DRIVING AROUND WITH
THE BOMB looking for the police to give it to.

Fortunately, she located the police before the bomb went off.

And what say the police?  The sergeant emphasized that anyone who finds a
bomb should get away from it and call law enforcement.  Amazing that some
people need to be told to get away from a bomb.

Bakersfield Californian Aug-00

© 2000 Peter Langston