Fun_People Archive
12 Sep
PAOTD - (Personal Ad O' The Day) 9/12/00

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Tue, 12 Sep 100 14:02:43 -0700
To: Fun_People
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Subject: PAOTD - (Personal Ad O' The Day) 9/12/00

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Forwarded-from: jesters-d <jesters-d@gene.COM>


SWM in dead-end job seeks dumpy neurotic for mutual psychological
torture, tepid sex, and codependency.

I enjoy drinking, smoking, pornography, and self-righteous indignation.
I can't stand movies, and the last album I bought was The Marshall
Tucker Band's Greatest Hits. I have middling intelligence but try to
appear smarter by affecting a world-weary air, memorizing useless facts,
and chuckling at my own mean-spirited, agenda-driven jokes.

Im 32 but look 40 and feel 60.

You are a whiney, bitter shrew with a misplaced sense of entitlement
and unrealistic expectations.  In time you will become coolly hostile
when I don't fulfill every unmet need you've ever had.

Bonus points if you just finished screwing every guy in town and but
now want to take it slow with me.

My perfect night would include getting hammered in a shit-hole bar while
you flirt with seedy old drunks, followed by an embarrassing screaming
match.

I would be open to an unsatisfying fling that leaves me filled with
regret and dread but prefer a long-term, soul crushing descent into
booze and pills.

No friendships. I don't need any goddamn friends.

Age unimportant, but I will condescend to women under 30 and rehash
mother issues with women over 40.

Serious replies only, please.

© 2000 Peter Langston