Fun_People Archive
26 Aug
YAEASS - Yet Another Example of Awfully Suspicious Statistics...

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Sat, 26 Aug 100 01:38:00 -0700
To: Fun_People
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Subject: YAEASS - Yet Another Example of Awfully Suspicious Statistics...

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From: "Matthew Kleinosky" <mkleinosky@bigfoot.com>

 I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right
 in front of a pick-up truck causing him to have to drive on to the
 shoulder.  This evidently angered the driver off enough, that he hung out
 his window and flipped the woman off. "Man, that guy is stupid" I thought
 to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever
 a female does anything to me in traffic and here's why:

 I drive 38 miles each way to work every day. That's 76 miles. Of these,
 16 miles each way, is bumper-to-bumper traffic.  Most of the
 bumper-to-bumper traffic is on an 8 lane highway, so if you look just at
 the 7 lanes I am not in, that means I pass something like one car every
 40 feet per lane. That's 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works
 out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31424 cars.  Even though the rest of
 the 34 miles is not bumper to bumper traffic, I figure I pass at least
 another 4000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars
 I pass every day. Statistically half of these cars are driven by females.
 That's 18,000. In any given group of females, 1 in 28 are having the worst
 day of their period.  That's 642.  According to Cosmopolitan, 70% of women
 describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding. 70% of 642 is
 449. According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females
 have seriously considered suicide or homicide.  That's 98. And 34% describe
 men as their biggest problem. That's 33.  According to the National Rifle
 Association 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing.

 That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has
 a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously
 considered suicide or homicide, is having the worst day of her period, and
 is armed. So... No matter what she does in traffic, I wouldn't DREAM of
 flipping her off!
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