Fun_People Archive
28 Jun
To all Greasy Hamstertushes from Doofus Liverchunks

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Wed, 28 Jun 100 17:52:49 -0700
To: Fun_People
Precedence: bulk
Subject: To all Greasy Hamstertushes from Doofus Liverchunks

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From: Kevin Johnsrude <kevinj@roguewave.com>
From: Lew Ladd

The following is an excerpt from a children's book, "Captain Underpants and
the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants," by Dav Pilkey:

The Professor forces everyone to assume new names....

Use the first letter of your first name to determine your NEW first name:

a = stinky
b = lumpy
c = buttercup
d = gidget
e = crusty
f = greasy
g = fluffy
h = cheeseball
i = chim-chim
j = poopsie
k = flunky
l = booger
m = pinky
n = zippy
o = goober
p = doofus
q = slimy
r = loopy
s = snotty
t = falafel
u = dorkey
v = squeezit
w = oprah
x = skipper
y = dinky
z = zsa-zsa

Use the first letter of your last name to determine the FIRST half of your
NEW LAST name:

a = diaper
b = toilet
c = giggle
d = bubble
e = girdle
f = barf
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = cootie
j = monkey
k = potty
l = liver
m = banana
n = rhino
o = burger
p = hamster
q = toad
r = gizzard
s = pizza
t = gerbil
u = chicken
v = pickle
w = chuckle
x = tofu
y = gorilla
z = stinker

Use the last letter of your LAST NAME to determine the SECOND half of your
NEW LAST NAME:

a = head
b = mouth
c = face
d = nose
e = tush
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = butt
l = brain
m = tushie
n = chunks
o = hiney
p = biscuits
q = toes
r = buns
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = kisser
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = brains
z = juice

Thus for example George Bush's new name is Fluffy Toiletshorts.

[KJ: And Bill Clinton's new name is Lumpy Gigglechunks.]

[PL: And Al Gore's new name is Stinky Lizardtush.]

Now when you forward this ... use your new name on the subject line.

Have fun!

© 2000 Peter Langston