Fun_People Archive
14 Jun
The Ten Articles Of Duct Tape

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Wed, 14 Jun 100 15:45:29 -0700
To: Fun_People
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Subject: The Ten Articles Of Duct Tape

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THE TEN ARTICLES OF DUCT TAPE

Article I

Duct Tape cannot fix everything.  I promise to refrain from trying to fix
the following things with Duct Tape:

     The National Debt
     The San Andreas Fault
     A Broken Heart

Article II

Duct Tape should not be forced on others.  Some people don't like Duct Tape
on their house, car, chairs, pants, shoes, gloves, tools, televisions,
pets, sports gear, and farm equipment, but that's their problem.  I will
learn to be more tolerant of these people and keep my Duct Tape to myself.

Article III

Other forms of tape are probably still necessary, even with Duct Tape, I am
not sure for what, though.

Article IV

I should never exaggerate when telling my friends about my best Duct Tape
stories.  As a Duct Tape "Adhesive Solutions Engineer," my true exploits
are usually hard enough to believe, anyway.

Article V

There are some things that I should throw away, even with Duct Tape around.
(I know that I may need to ask for help in identifying what these things
might be).

Article VI

When I forget to take my Duct Tape with me, it's okay...

Article VII

People that don't use Duct Tape aren't bad people -- they just don't know
any better.

Article VIII

Duct Tape is not all-powerful, although it has many of the same attributes
as the Force -- it has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the whole
universe together. ("May the Duct Tape be with you.")

Article IX

I will never misspell Duct Tape as duck tape...

Article X

It's okay to admit that I need Duct tape in my life -- in as many colors,
lengths, and widths as is possible -- because nobody is perfect.  In other
words, everyone can use a little Duct Tape now and then.
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