Fun_People Archive
30 Mar
Options are a Geek's Best Friend

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu, 30 Mar 100 15:14:50 -0800
To: Fun_People
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Subject: Options are a Geek's Best Friend

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From: Anne Merritt

This happened because I had a Tom Lehrer CD next to a Marilyn Monroe CD,
and I listened to them fairly close together while churning out code this
week.  The Internet has given me sooo much;  it's time for me to give back.
(Take it baaaack!!  Take it aaaaaall baaaack!!!!)

This needs to be sung to the Monroe version;  I don't know if the Carol
Channing version quite lines up.

Anne Marie

----

Options Are A Geek's Best Friend

(To the tune of Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend)

(From:  Gentlemen Prefer Geeks)

The Start up Techs will kill for code
The bonuses aren't bad, true,
but I prefer a company
that gives us options too.

A kiss on the ass may be good entertainment
but Options are a geek's best friend.
A kiss may be grand but it won't make the payment
on your brand new Z, or help you travel in great ease.
Techs grow cold as skills grow old
and we all lose our minds in the end.
But non-qual or ISO
our Options will still grow
Options are a geek's best friend

...MicroSoft... Veritas...

In-tel Cis-co
Talk to me, Merrill Lynch, tell me all about it!

There may come a time when a nerd needs a lawyer
but Options are a geek's best friend.
There may come a time when a hard-boiled employer
thinks you're awful smart
but get that ISO or we part.
He's your guy when stocks are high
but beware when they start to descend,
It's then that the layoff will kill your big payoff,
Options are a geek's best friend.

I've seen IPOs that are strictly moronic
but Options are a geek's best friend,
I think IPOs that go past supersonic
are better bets if little techs get Option checks
Time rolls on, your mind is gone
and you can't hit the keys right to send,
but stiff neck or allergies,
you're in front at Fry's, please
Options... Options...
 - I don't mean free food -
but Options, Are A Geek's Best Friend

-----
Anne Marie Merritt,
with apologies to Marilyn Monroe and Tom Lehrer

© 2000 Peter Langston