Fun_People Archive
8 Mar
Nice Work If You Can Get It

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Wed,  8 Mar 100 12:02:43 -0800
To: Fun_People
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Subject: Nice Work If You Can Get It

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From: Daniel Steinberg <dss@batnet.com>

Two recent items from Chuck Shepherd's News of The Wierd:

"The lawyer for a former Ft. Lauderdale, FL, phone-sex worker told
reporters recently that he had won a workers' compensation settlement for
his client based on her claim of carpal tunnel syndrome due to masturbating
on the job as much as seven times a day.  Steven Slootsky said his client
accepted the settlement to avoid the embarrassment of testifying, even
though the money is not enough to reimburse her for the surgery she
required on both hands."

"Because jellyfish genes contain a protein that turns green, scientists
have used them frequently in recent years in genetic modification work,
including (at the Scottish Agricultural College) the protein's introduction
into a potato to enable the spud to glow when it needs water and its
proposed introduction (at Hertfordshire University, England) into a Douglas
spruce to create Christmas trees with glowing needles.  A similar process
can be done with firefly genes, which was proposed for the Douglas spruce
project and is also now being done (at the University of Cincinnati) with
zebrafish in order to produce organisms that light up when they detect
certain water pollutants."

They seem to be missing the obvious applications to human bioengineering,
like babies that glow green, instead of crying, when they are hungry, or
women whose nipples light up to forestall the age-old question "Did you
cum?"  It's only a matter of time...

© 2000 Peter Langston