Fun_People Archive
23 Dec
Merged Movies- The New Millenium's Hot New Craze!!

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu, 23 Dec 99 23:17:29 -0800
To: Fun_People
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Subject: Merged Movies- The New Millenium's Hot New Craze!!

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Animal House of Wax-
    More zany antics from America's favorite frat boys, now on ice at the
Faber College Wax Museum.    Dean Wormer, at his wit's end, has a voodoo
priestess (Cher), put a zombie spell on the boys.  But the giant bonfire at
homecoming melts the wax wackos just enough to get their revenge plan into
high gear.  Starring Jim Belushi as John Belushi.

Wild, Wild West Side Story-
    Class warfare in 19th century Minnesota, when a rude bunch of newly
arrived Norwegian bachelor farmers tries to take over the favorite ice
fishing spots of their Swedish neighbors.  Starring Garrison Keillor.
Nomination for Best Song:  Ulrike, I Yust Met a Girl Named Ulrike.

North by North Dallas Forty-
    Hitchcock's little known football thriller.

The Wolfman of La Mancha-
    Frank Langella, Jessica Lange and Mickey Rooney as Sancho Panza.

Saturday Boogie Nights Fever-
    Tony Manero (Hugh Grant) and his new partner (Jennifer Lopez) move to
the San Fernando Valley to compete in the "Best Amateur Anal" contest.

Saving Private Ryan's Daughter-
    David Lean/Steven Spielberg 7-hour collaboration.  Sprawling story of
getting the cast out of  World War I Ireland before they die of old age.
Special Collector's Edition: 23 -hour Director's Cut comes with 2 bottles
of IV fluid.

Toy Story of "O"-
    Pixar's first attempt at animated S/M porn.  Perpetual motion dildo
scene brings a whole new meaning to catch phrase: "To infinity and beyond".

Tarzan and G.I. Jane-
    Stranded in the jungle after her platoon gets wiped out in rigged war
"games", Demi Moore works out until she is fully accepted by the simian
family that adopts her.

Free Willy Loman-
    Whimsical, tear-jerking tale of reincarnation.  Willy must teach the
meaning of life to a blind orphan (played by the Olsen twins) before low
tide comes in and beaches him.  "Attention must be paid- and the bill for
the herring."  Voice of Willy:  Robin Williams

Shakespeare & Blume in Love-
    Homosexual tale of suburban angst, creative inspiration and maxing out
the Bloomie's credit card.  Starring Ralph Fiennes and Adam Sandler.

Of Mice and Men in Black-
    Steinbeck's sci-fi moral tale.  "When do we feed the Martians, George?
When do we feed the Martians?"

  And neither film nor book- (perhaps a new genre, altogether) a cultural
  cross-discipline merger:

Martha Stewart Living Theatre-
    Martha and special guests Willem Dafoe, Julian Beck and Zelda Rubenstein
show us how to decorate Jerzy Grotowski's urn for the holidays, and make
popcorn balls with his ashes.  In Czechoslovakian, with French sub-titles.

© 1999 Peter Langston