Fun_People Archive
30 Nov
Canadian Prices & Unemplyed Canadfians

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Tue, 30 Nov 99 01:18:24 -0800
To: Fun_People
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Subject: Canadian Prices & Unemplyed Canadfians

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Forwarded-by: Keith Sullivan <KSullivan@worldnet.att.net>

OH, CANADA

My two daughters drove to Windsor, Ontario, when the currency exchange rate
was very favorable to Americans.  At a dance club they saw the posted cover
charge:  "Canadian:  $6.  American:  $5."

One sister whispered, "Who would be stupid enough to say they were Canadian?"

Daniel M. Sinnott in Reader's Digest
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

UNEMPLOYED CANADIANS GET MORE NOOKIE!
By Linda Galeazzi (Editor In Chief)

January 8, 1999.  According to a national survey, Canadians who live in
areas with a high unemployment rate are having more sex and yes, BETTER sex
than Canadians who actually have a job!

"So this is what they mean by economic growth!" said one man, gazing
lovingly at his erection.  "Well, woo-hoo and paint me horny!  I knew there
had to be an UP side to being on welfare, scrounging for food every month
and having to sell my beloved Gordon Lightfoot record collection to pay my
electricity bills!  I have sex!  And man, does that ever make poverty
bearable!"

His wife, pregnant with their eighteenth child, was less inclined to agree.

According to the survey, people in the hard-hit Atlantic provinces --
Newfoundland, Nova Scotia, Prince Edward Island and New Brunswick for all
you ignoramuses out there -- are having more sex than Western Canadians,
where unemployment has not run as rampant.  Indeedely, Atlantic Canadians
have sex 8.28 times a month, as opposed to the 6.57 times a month people in
prosperous British Columbia have sex.  We at CyberStones can only conclude
that the .28 and .57 refer to quickies in the back seat of a car where only
one partner achieved orgasm.

French-speaking Quebecers have sex 7.78 times a month -- though, obviously
not with ME -- but according to one insider, Quebecers will not rest until
their unemployment rates skyrocket and they can prove themselves to be "as
horny as those English bastards in the Maritimes."

The Atlantic provinces and Quebec, for your information, all have
unemployment rates above the nation average of 8 percent.  There is no
confirmation to the rumour that they willingly forfeited jobs and economic
investment in order to keep their libidos running at an optimum.

To the West of Quebec, sexual interest and frequency declines.  Ontario
showed an average of 7.18 sexual encounters a month; 7.09 in Manitoba and
Saskatchewan and 6.91 in Alberta.

"I love having sex as often as I do," said one Atlantic Canadian.  "The only
downside is that I really don't have anything to do with the other 91.62
percent of my time.  Sometimes when I try to convince my husband to have
sex with me, he says, 'According to the survey, it's not time yet!'  So,
like, our men are horny, yeah, but they're also sticklers for details and
stuff," added the frustrated woman.

The Canadian contingent of CyberStones will keep you updated on this sex
thing if and when any of us ever manage to pry our lazy asses out of bed
and look for a real job.

(c) 1998 CyberStones. All Rights Reserved.

© 1999 Peter Langston