Fun_People Archive
22 Nov
Museum of Bad Art News - Issue # 60

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Mon, 22 Nov 99 13:33:50 -0800
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Subject: Museum of Bad Art   News - Issue # 60

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         MOBA News    Nov 10 99 - Issue #60

        --------------------------------

NEW EXHIBITION

Our upcoming exhibition fulfills a lifelong dream of Mr Scott Wilson, MOBA's
Esteemed Curator.  For many years, ever since he was a teenager, he has been
mysteriously drawn to one of art's most well known subjects.  He has long
wanted to put together the definitive exhibition on this single theme. He
wanted to dig deep into MOBA's extensive Permanent Collection and assemble
a single unified exhibition that could serve as a survey course for one of
art's eternal (and ever popular) subjects.  The Museum oF Bad Art is proud
to present:

    BUCK NAKED - Nothing But Nudes

If it's bad and it's nude it will be there.  Clear your calendar for the
evening of December 5th for a special exhibition at the Blue Hill Spa, 95
Vanderbilt Avenue, Norwood MA - just a few miles south of MOBA's Permanent
Gallery.

MOBA's all nude revue will adorn the walls of the spa's steam rooms, massage
rooms, and grand common room. This wonderful spa will be in full operation
that evening, so come to the scenic splendor of the Norwood Industrial Park
and enjoy the art, the steam, and a massage.  We encourage all Friends of
MOBA to come attired in a bathing suit (preferred) (lockers available) or
if you're a bit too shy, then wear your formal best.

        --------------------------------

     CAN WE HELP?

On most days the MOBA Hotline is in danger of burning a hole in the faux
granite Formica workstation of MOBA's Director of Simple Tasks, Fergal
Gregory.

While the wiring problem is receiving attention, he asks your assistance in
helping a Friend of MOBA who, like artists Prince, Madonna and Quen, goes
under the simple moniker of Colette. Colette wishes to commission a work on
velvet and approached MOBA as a last resort. If anyone knows of artists of
renown whose medium is something on velvet, please reply to MOBA via email.
All responses will be forwarded to the so-called Colette when the smoke
clears from the Director of Simple Task's desk.

        --------------------------------

     LET US GIVE THANKS

As that Great All American Holiday, the day after Thanksgiving, draws near,
let us give thanks to MOBA's Publishing Department for freeing up this day
from the endless search for a parking space at a mall or trendy downtown
boutique area.

In only a few minutes you can take care of all your holiday gift  giving
needs with a single bulk order of the hot-off-the-presses:

    Museum Of Bad Art Year 2000 Calender

There isn't a person on your shopping list who wouldn't be thrilled to
receive this beautifully printed calendar featuring a bakers dozen of MOBA
reproductions as well as an ingratiating letter from our Esteemed Curator
himself.

The MOBA 2000 Calendar pairs each month with a full color MOBA painting:
   January -   "Dog" by artist unknown
   February -   "Ore" by LJH
   March - "Green Cowboy" by Martha
   April - "The Good Year" by Jeanne Kent
   May -   "Burger on the Beach" by Pagerdoun
   June -  "Silver Lining" by artist unknown
   July -  "Winged Pixie" by Otto
   August -   "Circle of Life" by Ted Heatley
   September -  "Pals" by J.M.
   October -   "Predatory Pumpkins" by artist unknown
   November -   "My Darling's Chestnut Mare" by G.P.
   December -   "Joan"  by Matt Snyder
   Extra Bonus - "Lucy in the Field With Flowers"

You will not find this calendar in fine stores or on TV infomercials - it
is available only from the MOBA Gift Shop - see below for ordering details.

        --------------------------------

     NEW ACQUISITIONS

The Acquisitions Department has been overwhelmed in the past five months
due to staffing shortages, and disputes over duties and responsibilities
amongst the overworked and underpaid minions. Last week the entire
department was fired and replaced by a machine.

As the approval process now moves on lickety split with acceptances here
and rejections there, those mentioned below are only the tip of the iceberg.
Details of all new pieces accepted into the MOBA Permanent Collection will
be included in future editions of the MOBA News.

     Cowboy Dreams
     Mixed media on canvas by artist unknown.
     Donor so far unidentified.
(If you think you left this piece at MOBA's Permanent Gallery please contact
the Director of Aesthetic Interpretation as soon as possible.)

The eye of God hovering between night and day dominates this work although
occupying only the top third of the canvas.  Below, a naked white figure
sporting huge golden wings treads among artificial roses.  Behind one bud
lurks a tiny toy cowboy.  The bottom of the canvas is trimmed with red lace
affixed with black art glue, hinting at saloon girls underwear. The
inclusion of a turquoise chalice, hieroglyphics and a horned owl results in
a work brimming over with more symbolism than a deck of Tarot cards.

     Irish Goddess
     Acrylic on Canvas by Quen
     Donated by the artist

A remarkable rendition in autumnal tones of an enigmatic blue eyed Sheelagh-
na-gig complete with yawning yoni.  This cheerfully obscene beauty will be
a featured work in MOBA's upcoming "Buck Naked" exhibition.

     Untitled
     Mixed Media by D K
     Donated by Julie Gold

An elderly lady in Sunday best hat and coat and surrounded by the contents
of the drawer in the hall table. This weighty work includes 28 keys, several
pieces of jewelry and a dolls head, all lovingly attached with a glue gun.

        --------------------------------

     FROM THE MAILROOM

Dear MOBA
   I think my husband may have accidently unsubscribed me.
   Please may I resubscribe if that was the case.
   How frequently do the news letters come out?
                Thanks
                Azza Elnusairi

Dear Ms Elnusairi,
    We admire your approach in first blaming your
    husband for the lack of the long overdue MOBA
    News. Everyone here on the MOBA staff takes a
    "spouse first" attitude towards complaints
    whenever possible.
                Yours in bad art,
                Parker McGurl


To MOBA,
    "I like all painting. I always look at the paintings
    - good or bad - in barbershops, furniture stores,
    provincial hotels...I'm like a drinker who needs wine.
    As long as it is wine, it doesn't matter which wine."
            Pablo Picasso (Guttuso, Journals,
            Quoted in Mario De Micheli, 1964)

    It would seem Picasso, even in death, supports the
    ideals of MOBA.
                    Jim Jarman




Dear MOBA staff,
   In the Washington Post there was an alarming
   tidbit in the Style Plus section which direct
   readers to see bad art at:
        www.badart.com

   It's a bad art page managed by one Vita
   Salvatore....but from what the tidbit says,
   Mr. Salvatore is asking $50,000 !!!!!!!! for
   a nude painting.  While it seem that he
   sincerely appreciates bad art, his greediness
   is alarming and could disturb the bad art world
   as we know it.

   What is MOBA's comment?  What can the rest of
   us do to stop this sort of behavior?
        Deb Metzel


Dear Ms. Metzel,
    Alas, the world of bad art is not immune from
    the greed that has long infected the fine art world.

    Hope springs eternal though.  We are continually
    heartened by the bad art loving public's
    unceasing donations of priceless pieces to the
    MOBA Permanent Collection where they may be
    appreciated in perpetuity for free by the
    public at large.

    We thank you for alerting us to Mr. Salvatore's
    commercial activities but we wish to reassure
    you that despite the many Mr. Salvatores of
    this world, world class bad art will continue
    to be collected, preserved and exhibited in
    a non-commercial setting by this institution

    .... at least until such time as we sell out
    and cash in.

                     Sincerely,

                     Jerry Reilly
                     Executive Director
                     Museum of Bad Art
                     "Art too bad to be ignored"

        --------------------------------

     INSIDER TRADING

The Museum Of Bad Art's brand new on-line Gift Shop
    http://www.nvo.com/moba/displayroom/
is now open 24 hours a day for online shopping.

While the rest of the world sleeps you can max out your credit card on
MOBArabilia without ever leaving the comfort of your own home (or discomfort
of your own office).

The museum's massive investment in this e-commerce enabled, world wide web,
internet dot com, on line shopping mall extravaganza puts MOBA at the
forefront of internet based crass commercial exploitation of the world's
artistic treasures.

This recent Amazonification of the MOBA's Gift Shop has positioned MOBA as
the leading bad art portal site on the internet. The inevitable MOBA
Internet IPO stock offering appears to be just around the corner.

        --------------------------------

If you have any friends, relatives, neighbors etc. who are suitable
candidates to become Friends Of MOBA - send their email address to
moba@world.std.com and we will begin the arduous induction process
immediately.

        --------------------------------

Visit MOBA's on-line gallery on the World Wide Web - courtesy of Friends Of
MOBA at the Virtual Mirror:  http://glyphs.com/moba

        --------------------------------

MOBA's Permanent Gallery is conveniently located 8 miles south of downtown
Boston in the basement of the Dedham Community Theater, 580 High St, Dedham
MA.  The current exhibition, "More Bad Art", features thirty recent
acquisitions spanning the full range of the MOBA Permanent Collection.

Gallery opening hours are 1 to 10 pm everyday, at least until the end  of
1999. Hours may revert to 6-10 on weekdays and 1- 10 on weekends  in 2000.

Admission to the MOBA Gallery is free, with steep discounts for children,
senior citizens, and local residents.

© 1999 Peter Langston