Fun_People Archive
14 Oct
Tony Kornheiser excerpts - Gore, Quayle, & New Yorke

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu, 14 Oct 99 11:04:31 -0700
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Subject: Tony Kornheiser excerpts - Gore, Quayle, & New Yorke

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Forwarded-by: "Stephen Nelson (personal)" <snelson@nwlink.com>

Speaking of presidential politics: Hoping to revive his flagging campaign,
Al "Al Gore Jr." Gore took the bold step of moving his headquarters to his
ancestral home in Tennessee. For a really bold step, he should have moved
the campaign to his true ancestral home, Gepetto's wood shop.

Meanwhile, Dan Quayle has dropped out of the race. Polls had Quayle running
behind six of the other seven declared Republican candidates, behind four
of the five Osmond brothers and behind Gladys Knight and two of her three
Pips. Quayle had been loath to drop out because he believed he could do well
in states ending in "e," like New Hampshire, Idahoe and Hawaiee.

What a dope. He forgot New Yorke. Speaking of which, have you heard about
the mysterious killer-virus outbreak there? It's awful. First you get a
headache, and a few hours later your brain explodes. Married men all over
the Bronx are sleeping on the couch, in case this should happen to their
wives.

-  Tony Kornheiser

© 1999 Peter Langston