Fun_People Archive
27 Sep
OCEMAs (Overly Creative Emergency Medical Acronyms)

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Mon, 27 Sep 99 18:12:42 -0700
To: Fun_People
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Subject: OCEMAs (Overly Creative Emergency Medical Acronyms)

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Forwarded-by: Nev Dull <nev@bostic.com>
Excerpted from: PLANET PROCTOR 99-20 http://www.planetproctor.com
Forwarded by: phil proctor <PProctor@compuserve.com
Forwarded-by: good@pixar.com (Craig Good)

From: Chief of Operations, Office of the Fire Chief

	It has come to our attention from several emergency rooms that many
EMS narratives have taken a decidedly creative direction lately. Effective
immediately, all members are to refrain from using slang and abbreviations
to describe patients, such as the following:
	(1) Cardiac patients should not be referred to with MUH (messed up
heart), PBS (pretty bad shape), PCL (pre-code looking) or HIBGIA (had it
before, got it again).
	(2)  Stroke patients are NOT "Charlie Carrots." Nor are rescuers to
use CCFCCP (Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs) to describe their mental state.
	(3) Trauma patients are not CATS (cut all to shreds), FDGB (fall
down, go boom), TBC (total body crunch) or "hamburger helper." Similarly,
descriptions of a car crash do not have to include phrases like "negative
vehicle to vehicle interface" or "terminal deceleration syndrome."
	(4) HAZMAT teams are highly trained professionals, not "glow worms."
	(5) Persons with altered mental states as a result of drug use is
not considered "pharmaceutically gifted."
	(6) Gunshot wounds to the head are not "trans-occipital implants."
	(7) The homeless are not "urban outdoorsmen" or "residentially
challenged", nor is endotracheal intubation referred to as a "PVC Challenge".
	(8) And finally, do not refer to recently deceased persons as being
"paws up," ART (assuming room temperature), CC (Cancel Christmas), CTD
(circling the drain), or NLPR (no longer playing records).
	Thank You.

© 1999 Peter Langston