Fun_People Archive
27 Aug
Canadian Balance?

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Fri, 27 Aug 99 11:53:52 -0700
To: Fun_People
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Subject: Canadian Balance?
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Once upon a time, in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days.
Eventually, the archangel Michael found him, resting on the seventh day.
He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"  God sighed a deep sigh of
satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Mike,
look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"  "It's a planet,"
replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it.  I'm going to call it Earth and it's
going to be a great place of balance."  "Balance?" inquired Michael, still
confused.  God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "Yes, for
example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth
while Southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will
be a hot spot.  God pointed to different countries, pointing out their
complementary differences.

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a large land mass
in the top corner and asked, "What's that one?"  "Ah," said God.  "That's
Canada, the most glorious place on Earth.  There's beautiful mountains,
lakes, rivers, streams and an exquisite coast-line.  The people from Canada
are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be
found traveling the world.  They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and
high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats
and carriers of peace.  I'm also going to give them super-human,
undefeatable ice hockey players who will be admired and feared by all who
come across them."
[If you were wondering whether this was written by a Canadian, that last  
sentence pretty much cinches it... -psl]

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed.  "What about
balance, God?  You said there will be BALANCE!"  God replied wisely, "Wait
until you see the loud-mouth bastards I'm putting next to them."

© 1999 Peter Langston