Fun_People Archive
29 Apr
Travel Advisory -- vibrators

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu, 29 Apr 99 11:31:49 -0700
To: Fun_People
Precedence: bulk
Subject: Travel Advisory -- vibrators

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A pilot made an emergency landing when a suspect device was detected on a
jet packed with British holiday makers -- but the threat turned out to be
a sex-aid vibrator.

The A-300 Monarch Airbus was two hours into a flight from Goa when the crew
became suspicious about a piece of hand luggage. The pilot, Captain Dave
Johnson, radioed a bomb alert and was ordered to divert to Bombay.

The plane, carrying British-based passengers and crew, was taken to an
isolated handling bay where 369 people were evacuated.  Bomb disposal
experts boarded the plane and examined the suspect baggage and identified
the device as a battery-powered sex vibrator.  A Monarch Air spokeswoman
applauded Capt Johnson's actions. "We are looking into the incident to find
out how it got on board," she said. The passengers later continued to
Gatwick.

I initially found this story in rec.travel.airlines on Usenet.  I followed
the links in that message to the actual article (above, Tuesday April 20,
11:01 AM).  The next message posted was from an airline ramp agent:

  "Actually, this kind of thing happens way too often.  I used to work for
  a major airline as a ramp agent, and I'd put the number at 2-3 times per
  year, per airline.  What happens is a bag (usually checked though) gets
  jostled, and vibrator switches on, bag starts buzzing or humming,
  employees alert security, and then the real fun begins.

  "Our SOP used to be offload pax, have them claim baggage on ramp, then
  swoop in on suspicious bag. have pax reveal source of buzz, worst
  embarrassment of life ensues, in front of planeload of angry, delayed
  strangers.  It was ALWAYS the best part about working the ramp. And this
  should serve as a cautionary note, pack the batteries separate if
  traveling with a vibrator."

I love this story.  It has everything that is required for an urban legend
but it is true. The original story is still available at:
  http://www.yahoo.co.uk/headlines/19990420/london/newsstory133839.html

  [I thought maybe the "vibrator" was related to the vi editor,
  since "vi" is s*x in Roman numerals.  PGN]

© 1999 Peter Langston