Fun_People Archive
5 Apr
Desktop Themes and $2.50 an "Uh".

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Mon,  5 Apr 99 12:36:29 -0700
To: Fun_People
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Subject: Desktop Themes and $2.50 an "Uh".
References: <199904051705.NAA23728@abyssinian.sleepycat.com>

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Forwarded-by: Nev Dull <nev@bostic.com>
Forwarded-by: "Bruce A. Mah" <bmah@ca.sandia.gov>
From: Terry Lambert <tlambert@primenet.com>

>> I'm looking forward to installing fvwm95 so that people will
>> think it's running Windows.  8-) 8-).
>
> I think you'd get them to goggle even more if you install
> Enlightenment and the Star Trek desktop theme.  ;^)

I can hear it now... "How the hell am I supposed to support someone over
the phone when they have all of this non-standard glitzy crap installed?".

I think it's probably bad enough when someone calls up their Windows 95
support weenie, and the weenie needs them to delete something.

Why Desktop Themes Are A Bad Idea, by Terry Lambert

	...
	luser:	Ok, I found the file.
	weenie:	Ok, drag it to the trashcan.
	luser:	I don't have a trashcan.
	weenie:	Then drag it to the black hole.
	luser:	I don't have a black hole.
	weenie:	Do you have a recycling icon?
	luser:	No...
	weenie:	A beaker of acid?
	luser:	No...
	weenie:	Beavis, do you have a picture of Beavis?
	luser:	No...
	weenie:	Uh, crap...
	luser:	...
	weenie:	Uh...
	luser:	...
	weenie:	Uh...
	luser:	Are you immitating Beavis?
	weenie:	No, just thinking.
	luser:	Because you sounded like Beavis.
	weenie:	Well, I wasn't imitating Beavis.
	luser:	...
	weenie:	Uh...
	luser:	Are you done thinking yet, "Beavis"?
	weenie:	Cut the crap or I'll send you back to the support queue,
		where your call is very important to us, and you can
		explain the problem to someone else.
	luser:	Sorry; it's just that I'm paying $4.95 a minute.  That's
		like $2.50 an "Uh".
	weenie:	Then the quicker you quit chatting, the quicker I solve
		the problem, capish?
	luser:	Sorry.
	weenie:	Uh...
	luser:	...
	weenie:	Ok, got it.  Can you get a DOS prompt?
	luser:	Yeah.
	weenie:	Ok, get a DOS prompt...
	luser:	I've already double-clicked on Sebastion the Crab; it's
		on it's way up.  I can tell, because of the bubbles
		rising from the end of the seashell I clicket it with.
	weenie:	Whatever; just get a DOS prompt.
	luser:	Ok, it's up.
	weenie:	Ok; now type "CD \WINDOWS\SYSTEM"...
	...

The "Desktop Theme" has got to be the stupidest idea since sending
French bicycle assembly instructions to Korea to be translated into
English by immigrants from China because they're willing to charge
less to do the work.

© 1999 Peter Langston