Fun_People Archive
17 Mar
The Comedian's-eye View of 03/17/99

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Wed, 17 Mar 99 10:49:42 -0800
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Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of 03/17/99

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Excerpted-from: 03/17/99 -- Shoptalk

                       Wednesday March 17, 1999
                  http://www.tvspy.com/shoptalk.htm

	During my service in the United States Congress, I took the
	initiative in creating the Internet.
						- Al Gore

	During my service in the United States Congress, I took the
	initiative in creating the paper clip.
						- Senator Trent Lott

                               &&&&&&&&&&

Lamar Alexander is officially running for president.  "Try to imagine Al
Gore, but without the charisma." (Jay Leno)

"What's sad is, already there's a scandal brewing about Lamar Alexander.
While in college, Lamar may have experimented with having a personality."
(Leno)

The maker of Crayola crayons is asking for suggestions to rename the
politically incorrect color Indian red. "So far the best suggestion is from
Martha Stewart.  She wants to call it Indian magenta." (Steve Voldseth)

"They haven't picked up new name yet, but I like European Land-Grabber red."
(Jerry Perisho)

A study found that California leads the nation in road rage.  "We're No. 1!
We're No. 1!  At least, I think that's what Californians are saying when
they stick that one finger out the window." (Jennifer Vally)

A researcher reports that visitors to New York City are 34% more likely to
have heart attacks than visitors to other cities.  "And more than half of
those heart attacks came during New York cab rides." (Mark Wheeler)
[Or when the waiter brings the check...  -psl]

© 1999 Peter Langston