Fun_People Archive
1 Mar
If Coke Was Like Microsoft (and owned McDonalds)

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Mon,  1 Mar 99 13:34:34 -0800
To: Fun_People
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Subject: If Coke Was Like Microsoft (and owned McDonalds)

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Forwarded-by: Carolyn Wallace <cwallace@foxinternet.net>

	If Coke Was Like Microsoft

After the recent Anti-trust hearings, Bill Gates recently compared the
software market with the soft drink market.  He says Microsoft is struggling
to survive but that the beverage giant will be on top forever because the
Department of Justice doesn't pick on them.  Of course, Bill should be
careful not to give Coke any ideas.  We might end up with a scenario like
the following:

Joe:     (walking into McDonalds) Hi, I'd like a Big Mac.

Cashier: Okay, here's your Big Mac and here's your Coke.
         That'll be $3.99.

Joe:     Uh, I don't want a Coke.

Cashier: Sorry, they're bundled.

Joe:     What? I'm not paying for a Coke!

Cashier: You don't; the Coke is free.

Joe:     But wasn't a Big Mac $2.49 last week?

Cashier: Sure, but this latest Big Mac is far more innovative.
         It's got integrated Coke!

Joe:     I already bought a Snapple across the street.
         I'm not going to drink the Coke.

Cashier: Then you can't have the burger.

Joe:     Okay, fine, I will pay the $3.99 and throw the Coke away.

Cashier: Oh, you can't do that. They're seamlessly integrated.
         Totally inseparable.

Joe:     How can that be? They're two totally separate things!

Cashier: No, watch. (takes Big Mac, dunks it in a tank of Coke)
         See?

Joe:     Why did you just do that?!

Cashier: It's a benefit to the consumer. Otherwise you'd end up
         with two different, inconsistent tastes.
         This way you're assured of a continuous taste
         across all your foods.

Joe:     Aaarrgh!

[The step of dunking the Big Mac in the tank of Coke is the parallel to
 selling a mail program (e.g. Outlook Express) with HTML-encoding turned
 on by default.  It's a continuous taste across all your foods.  Aaarrgh!
-psl]

© 1999 Peter Langston