Fun_People Archive
16 Feb
Zee Cab-baj Do Not Run Away From Zee Corned Beef!

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Tue, 16 Feb 99 16:26:25 -0800
To: Fun_People
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Subject: Zee Cab-baj Do Not Run Away From Zee Corned Beef!

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Forwarded-by: Matt Simmons <simmonmt@acm.org>

Skunked at Love?  Try These Lines To Woo Your Favorite Valentines
by Rachel Emma Silverman

  Ah, Valentine's Day - the jour d'amour.  And who better represents romance
than that Gallic gallant himself, Pepe Le Pew?
  Monsieur Le Pew, a dapper skunk, arrived on the big screen in January 1945
in the Warner Bros. cartoon "Odor-able Kitty."  His creator was animator
Chuck Jones, who also dreamed up Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote.  An early
Pepe film, "For Scent-imental Reasons," won the 1949 Academy Award for best
animated short.
  Since then, Pepe has starred in almost 20 cartoons, including "Little Beau
Pepe" and "Past Parfumance."  Throughout his oeuvre, the story's the same:
A desperate skunk chases after a series of skunk-striped cats - "zee
king-sized belle femme skunk fatales" Penelope, Fifi, Fabrette and Felice
- and woos them vigorously in Franglais.  Sadly, his ardor can't mask his
odor, rendering his pursuit futile.
  Still, Pepe's been at it for over 50 years.  This Sunday, why not try some
of his bons mots and let those pheromones fly.  Just remember to wash with
scented soap first.

ICEBREAKERS

  "Permit me to introduce myself.  I am Pepe Le Pew, your lover."

SWEET NOTHINGS

  "You are my peanut, I am your brittle!"

  "Ah, my leetle much ado about somezing. [kiss, kiss]  Ah, my leetle lost
   labor's love."

  "Where are you, my leetle gumbo of chicken?  Your French fried shrimp is
   sizzling for you."

  "You may call me Streetcar, because of my desire for you!"

  "Where are you, my leetle objet d'art?  I am going to collect you!"

SELF-AFFIRMATION

  "You know, eet eez possible to be too attractive!"  [Pepe declared this
   as he was being chased by an amorous cat.]

  "You know, most men would get discouraged about now. ... Fortunately for
   you, I am not most men."

  "Ah, my darling, I love you.  Where have I been all your life?"

LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD

  "I'll tell you what:  You stop resisting me, and I'll stop resisting you."

  "If you have not tried eet, do not knock eet!"

  "You are zee corned beef to me, I am zee cab-baj to you.  Zee cab-baj do
   not run away from zee corned beef!"

DEEP THOUGHTS

  "One nice thing eez, the game of love eez never called on account of
   darkness."

  "Sometimes I ask myself, `Eez it really worth eet?'  And I answer myself,
   `Yes!'"

(WSJ 12-Feb-1999)

© 1999 Peter Langston