Fun_People Archive
9 Feb
A Call from Mom & The Suit

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Tue,  9 Feb 99 13:28:19 -0800
To: Fun_People
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Subject: A Call from Mom & The Suit

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649
Forwarded-by: GCFL <gcfl-info@gcfl.net>

Forwarded-by: kworth

The harried housewife answered the phone and listened with relief to the
voice in her ear.  "How are you, dear?  What kind of day are you having?"

"Oh, Mom, the baby won't eat, the washing machine is broken; I haven't been
able to get out of the house to shop; I twisted my ankle and have been
hobbling around.  On top of that, the house is a mess and we're supposed to
have two couples over for dinner tonight."

"Now, dear, just stay calm.  Sit down, relax, close your eyes, and I'll be
over in 1/2 hour.  I'll do the shopping, clean up the house, and cook your
dinner for you.  I'll take care of the baby when I get there and call a
repairman I know who'll get the washing machine fixed.  In fact, I'll call
George at the office and tell him he ought to come home and help out for
once."

"George?  Who's George?"

"Why, that's your *husband*, dear."

"Mom, my husband's name is Mike!"

"Uh, is this 234-5678?"

"No, it's not.  I think you have a wrong number."  The housewife paused.
"Uhhh, does this mean you're not coming over?"

-=+=-
Forwarded-by: Ron

When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk's hand was
bandaged, but before he could ask about the bandage, the clerk said he had
some very good news for him.

"Guess what, sir?" the clerk said. "I finally sold that terrible, ugly suit
we've had so long!"

"You mean that repulsive pink-and-blue double-breasted thing?" the manager
asked.

"That's the one!"

That's great!" the manager cried, "I thought we'd never get rid of that
monstrosity!  That had to be the ugliest suit we've ever had!  But tell me.
Why is your hand bandaged?"

"Oh, after I sold the guy that suit, his guide dog bit me."

© 1999 Peter Langston