Fun_People Archive
3 Feb
Bits o' Bull No. 504!

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Wed,  3 Feb 99 23:35:02 -0800
To: Fun_People
Precedence: bulk
Subject: Bits o' Bull No. 504!

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649
Excerpted-from: BOING Bull No. 504!
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      THE BURNED-OUT NEWSPAPERCREATURES GUILD'S NEWSLETTER
                             BONG Bull
        Copyright (c) 1999 by BONG.   All rights reserved.
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

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PERKS.  A priest goes into a barbershop, gets a haircut, thanks the barber,
and offers money. The barber says, "Father, you're a holy man, I couldn't
charge you, it's on the house."
   The next day, magically appearing on the doorstep of the barbershop are
twelve gold coins.
   A few days later, a Buddhist monk goes in for a shave and a shine, and
when the time comes to pay the barber says, "No money, please, you're a
spiritual leader, a man of the people, it's on the house."
   The next day, magically appearing on the doorstep of the barbershop, are
twelve rubies.
   The following week an editor comes in, gets a haircut, goes to pay, and
the barber says, "No, Mr. Editor, you are  a learned man and a servant of
the people, I can't take any money from you."
   The next day, magically appearing on the doorstep of the barbershop, are
twelve shaggy editors.

SEEKING TRUTH. A ventriliquist reporter decides to have a little fun with
the projects editor, goes into the boss' office and asks the pencil holder
for the secret of the boss' success.
   "He's an evil taskmaster, always dulling our points with his ill-
thought-out projects ideas!" the pencils say, to the projects editor's
astonishment.
   The reporter asks the same question of the boss' dictionary, which
responds, "Wouldn't know about that. He never consults me." The boss blushes
fiery red.
   The ventriloquist reporter turns and asks the office couch the same
question.
   "The couch lies!" the projects editor interrupts.
[Now there's a joke that really gets around... -psl]


Not so far the subject of expert testimony, BONG Chief Copyboy
Charley Stough, Dayton Daily News, 45 S. Ludlow St., Dayton, Ohio
45401 salutes NYTNS courtwatchers worldwide. E-mail copyboy@dma.org.
Phone (937) 225-2445 after 3 p.m. eastern. Fax 225-2489.
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