Fun_People Archive
10 Nov
Quick Thinking?

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 98 16:34:12 -0800
To: Fun_People
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Subject: Quick Thinking?

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649
Forwarded-by: Jon Zweig <jzweig@jps.net>

Police arrested Malcolm Davidson, a 27 year old white male, resident of
White Plains, NY, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 pm Friday. Davidson will be
charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public
intoxication at the County courthouse on Monday.

The suspect allegedly stated that as he was passing a pumpkin patch, he
decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there
was no one around here for miles.  At least I thought there wasn't."  he
stated in a phone interview from the County courthouse jail.

Davidson went on to state that he pulled over to the side of the road,
picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a
hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need".  "I guess I was
just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process, Davidson apparently failed to notice the White Plains police
car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor
approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure." said officer
Taylor. "I walked up to (Davidson) and he's...just working away at this
pumpkin."

Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Davidson.  "I
just went up and said, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are
screwing a pumpkin?" He got real surprised, as you'd expect, and then looked
me straight in the face and said, "A pumpkin!?  Damn... is it midnight
already?"

© 1998 Peter Langston