Fun_People Archive
20 Oct
Have You Seen Miss Green?

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Tue, 20 Oct 98 13:47:31 -0700
To: Fun_People
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Subject: Have You Seen Miss Green?

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649
Forwarded-by: "Don Teague" <djt@earth.pacaccess.com>
Forwarded-by: ACSU <acsu@gte.net>

A priest is in a church on Saturday afternoon, hearing confessions.  A man
walks in and kneels down - "Father, it has been two weeks since my last
confession - these are my sins. Last night I had sex with Nookie Green."
    "That is your sin?"
    "Yes, Father."
    "You are forgiven. Go out and say one Our Father."
    The man leaves.  Soon, another enters and kneels, "Father, it has been
one month since my last confession. These are my sins. I have had sex with
Nookie Green every week for the last month."
    The priest thinks to himself this woman is fairly popular with his male
parishioners...
    "Those are your sins?"
    "Yes."
    "You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Marys."
    The man leaves.  Soon, another man enters and kneels, "Father, it has
been six months since my last confession. These are my sins - I have had sex
with Nookie Green twice a week for the last six months."
    This time, the priest has to ask, "Who is this Nookie Green?"
    "Just a woman I know."
    "Very well, you are forgiven. Go out and say ten Hail Marys."
    The priest closes the church for the evening and leaves wondering what  
the story is with this mysterious, but too well-known, Nookie Green woman.
    The next Sunday the priest is in the middle of his sermon when the doors
fly open in the back of the church and in walks a woman, a tall redhead with
a green sequin dress, green sequined heels, and a green hat with a long
green feather coming from it.  She walks straight up the aisle and sits down
in the front pew right in front of the priest, her knees apart.  The priest
can't help but stop and stare.
    He finally catches himself and leans over to the altar boy, "Pssssst.
Joey, is that Nookie Green?"
    The altar boy says, "No, it's just the reflection off her shoes."
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