Fun_People Archive
24 Sep
Crisis in the Burg: the 100GB Bug

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu, 24 Sep 98 13:26:34 -0700
To: Fun_People
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Subject: Crisis in the Burg: the 100GB Bug

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649
Forwarded-by: nev@bostic.com
Forwarded-by: Dave Del Torto <ddt@lsd.com>
Forwarded-by: Victor Milan, FBNS
Forwarded-By: Charles Reuben <buytexas@swbell.net>

EXPERTS WARN OF THREAT FROM 100GB BUG

Firebringer News Service (FBNS) - Experts warned today of a new and deadly
threat to our beleaguered civilization: the 100GB Bug.

As most people know, McDonald's restaurant signs show the number of
hamburgers the giant chain has sold. That number now stands at 99 billion
burgers, or 99 Gigaburgers (GB). Within months or even weeks, that number
will roll over to 100GB.

McDonald's signs, however, were designed years ago, when the prospect of
selling one hundred billion hamburgers seemed unthinkably remote. So the
signs have only two decimal places.

This means that, after the sale of the 100 billionth burger, McDonald's
signs will read "00 Billion Burgers Sold." This, experts predict, will
convince the public that, in over thirty years, no McDonald's hamburgers
have ever in fact been sold, causing a complete collapse of consumer
confidence in McDonald's products.

The ensuing catastrophic drop in sales is seen as almost certain to force
the already-troubled company into bankruptcy. This, in turn, will push the
teetering American economy over the brink, which, finally, will complete
the total devastation of the global economy, ending civilization as we know
it, and forcing us all to live on beetles.

"The people who know -- the sign-makers -- are really scared of 100GB," one
expert said. "I don't know about you, but I'm digging up a copy of THE FIELD
GUIDE TO NORTH AMERICAN INSECTS and heading for the hills."

###

reported by Victor Milan, FBNS
forward freely, please attribute

© 1998 Peter Langston