Fun_People Archive
23 Sep
PLOTD (Pretzel Logic of the Day) & the Washington Forecast

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Wed, 23 Sep 98 16:39:23 -0700
To: Fun_People
Precedence: bulk
Subject: PLOTD (Pretzel Logic of the Day) & the Washington Forecast

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649
Forwarded-by: t byfield <tbyfield@panix.com>

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From:<http://www.nytimes.com/yr/mo/day/late/ap-clinton-congress.html>:

	PLOTD (Pretzel Logic of the Day)

     Asked about polls showing Americans seem to agree, Gingrich said: "I
     think people would be frankly horrified if the Congress was simply a
     polling institution that enacted a grotesque version of justice based
     on the latest poll or the latest talk show."

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From: David Casseres <casseres@apple.com>

	Washington Forecast

OK, it's time for some reckless predictions:

1) There will be at least a couple more weeks of mindless bloviation from
both Democrats and Republicans, plus an increasing number of exposures of
highly-placed, sanctimonious adulterers, whoremasters, porno fiends, weenie
waggers, etc.  The existing stench of hypocrisy will be augmented by that
of burning flesh.

2) While the above has been going on, those Republicans that have
functioning brains will be hurriedly crafting a face-saving way out of the
swamp, one that doesn't involve impeachment or indictment or any other kind
of long-drawn-out legal procedings.  Some kind of censure resolution would
be my guess.  Why?  Because even the Republicans are beginning to notice
that the voters hate this shit, and it's an election year.  They need to
declare victory and move on.

3) The next part is going to be fun, as the Republicans try to figure out
what they can talk about next without making even bigger fools of themselves
than they already have.  Their agenda so far has consisted of the following:

	a. Get Clinton.
	b. A bunch of stuff that Clinton has already stolen, done, and
	   taken the credit for.
	c. Get Clinton.
	d. The Pat Robertson agenda.
	e. Get Clinton.

With a, c, and e achieved and b yanked out from under them, all they have
left is d, and even the dumbest of them know what the voters think of that.
If they go that way, they will be condemning themselves to marginal status
for the next ten years.  They're screwed.  My guess is they'll have to fall
back on unrealistic tax-cutting proposals, with no result.

4) There may be a panicky attempt to repeal the Independent Counsel law,
but wiser heads will prevail and they'll wind up just letting it die quietly
when it comes up for renewal, safely in advance of the next Presidential
election.

5) Monica Lewinsky will write (or have written for her) one HELL of a
best-seller.

© 1998 Peter Langston