Fun_People Archive
31 May
The Emerald City Symphony on Tour

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Sun, 31 May 98 20:58:09 -0700
To: Fun_People
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Subject: The Emerald City Symphony on Tour

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649
[Inspired by a joke from Windell H. Oskay via Alan Garren and Joe Vinikow... -psl]

    The Emerald City Symphony is on tour in Europe, traveling by train
through the Alps.  In one compartment of the train there are four people:
an old, matronly harpist; a beautiful, vivacious young soprano; the haughty,
self-absorbed conductor; and a timid second-chair violist.
    Suddenly the train goes through a tunnel.  In the utter pitch blackness
a loud kiss is heard, followed by a loud slap.  When the train exits the
tunnel, the conductor is holding the side of his face where a bright crimson
flush is already showing.
    The harpist is thinking: "Ah, now that's a foolish young woman; she
should think of her career.  If the Conductor stole a kiss from me I don't
think I'd hit him quite so hard!"
    The soprano is thinking: "I always knew conductors were strange; he'd
rather kiss that old bag of a harpist than me!"
    The conductor is thinking: "Now that's a lucky violist, he steals a kiss  
and I get slapped.  I guess she just wishes it had been me."
    And the violist is thinking: "This is great. The next time the train
goes through a tunnel I can make another kissing noise and slap that damn
conductor again!"

© 1998 Peter Langston