Fun_People Archive
20 May
Dividing by Zero

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Wed, 20 May 98 12:03:21 -0700
To: Fun_People
Precedence: bulk
Subject: Dividing by Zero

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649
Forwarded-by: "Jack D. Doyle" <doylej@PEAK.ORG>
From: Doc@drscience.com

Dear Doctor Science,
Why can't you divide by zero?

-- Kitty Evans, Des Moines, Iowa

I can and often do divide by zero, but only after I've made the necessary
preparations. First of all, I fast for 48 hours, consuming during that time
only mildly fluoridated  water. Next I don my special teflon
division-by-zero suit. Then I put on my digitally recorded compact disc of
Gregorian chants and begin with dividing very small numbers by other very
small numbers.  As the numbers get smaller, the sparks begin to fly. If all
goes well, I take a deep breath and divide a very small number by zero.
There's a flash of light, a muffled roar, and when I regain consciousness,
the lab is filled with smoke and the scent of burning mylar. So, you see,
you can by divide by zero if you really want to.  Chances are....you just
don't want to badly enough.

© 1998 Peter Langston