Fun_People Archive
10 Apr
Good Yontiff - Passover (Pesach) in particular

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Fri, 10 Apr 98 21:41:46 -0700
To: Fun_People
Precedence: bulk
Subject: Good Yontiff - Passover (Pesach) in particular

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649
Forwarded-by: "Irene A. Mystery" <LadyHawke@Unforgettable.com>
Forwarded-by: SKleiner
Forwarded-by: Betty & Louis Kalbfeld of Ormond Beach

Morris calls his son in NY and says, "Benny, I have something to tell you.
However, I don't want to discuss it. I'm merely telling you because you're
my oldest child, and I thought you ought to know. I've made up my mind, I'm
divorcing Mama."

The son is shocked, and asks his father to tell him what happened.

"I don't want to get into it. My mind is made up."

"But Dad, you just can't decide to divorce Mama just like that after 54
years together. What happened?"

"It's too painful to talk about it. I only called because you're my son,
and I thought you should know. I really don't want to get into it anymore
than this. You can call your sister and tell her. It will spare me the
pain."

"But where's Mama? Can I talk to her?"

"No, I don't want you to say anything to her about it. I haven't told her
yet. Believe me it hasn't been easy. I've agonized over it for several days,
and I've finally come to a decision. I have an appointment with the lawyer
the day after tomorrow."

"Dad, don't do anything rash. I'm going to take the first flight down.
Promise me that you won't do anything until I get there."

"Well, all right, I promise. Next week is Passover. I'll hold off seeing
the lawyer until after the Seder. Call your sister in NJ and break the news
to her. I just can't bear to talk about it anymore."

A half hour later, Morris receives a call from his daughter who tells him
that she and her brother were able to get tickets and that they and the
children will be arriving in Florida the day after tomorrow.  "Benny told
me that you don't want to talk about it on the telephone, but promise me
that you won't do anything until we both get there."

Morris promises. After hanging up from his daughter, Morris turns to his
wife and says, "Well, it worked this time, but what are we going to do next
Yom Tov to get them to come down?"
_____________________________________________________________________________

 Forwarded-by: liondog@isomedia.com (Rick Ruskin)
 Forwarded-by: BurnhamJ <BurnhamJ@aol.com>

A blind man is sitting on a park bench. A Rabbi sits down next to him.
The Rabbi is eating a big piece of matzah. Taking pity on the blind man,
he breaks off a piece and gives it to the blind man.

Several minutes later, the blind man turns, taps the Rabbi on the shoulder
and asks, "Who wrote this rubbish?"
_____________________________________________________________________________
[Note:  yontiff == yontif == yom tov, except that "yom tov" is Hebrew for  
"day good" (literally) and was the basis for the Yiddish words "yontif" and  
"yontiff" meaning "holiday" or "celebration."

© 1998 Peter Langston