Fun_People Archive
19 Mar
Dam bureaucrats

Content-Type: text/plain
Mime-Version: 1.0 (NeXT Mail 3.3 v118.2)
From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu, 19 Mar 98 12:23:43 -0800
To: Fun_People
Precedence: bulk
Subject: Dam bureaucrats
References: <351100DC.64C9@Eskimo.com>

Forwarded-by: Brian Smith <bdws@Eskimo.com>
Forwarded-by: Karen D.

Dam bureaucrats...

----------
Subject:      Letter to the Dept. of Environmental Quality

-----Original Message-----
STATE OF MICHIGAN
Reply to: GRAND RAPIDS DISTRICT OFFICE STATE OFFICE BUILDING 6TH FLOOR 350
OTTAWA NW GRAND RAPIDS MI 49503-2341
JOHN ENGLER, Governor
DEPARTMENT OF ENVIRONMENTAL QUALITY
HOLLISTER BUILDING, PO BOX 30473, LANSING MI 48909-7973
INTERNET: <<http://www.deq.state.mi http://www.deq.state.mi us
RUSSELL J. HARDING, Director

December 17, 1997
CERTIFIED
Mr. Ryan DeVries 2088 Dagget Pierson, MI 49339

Dear Mr. DeVries:

SUBJECT: DEQ File No.  97-59-0023-1 T11N, R10W, Sec.  20, Montcalm County

It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that
there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel
of property.  You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or
contractor who did the following unauthorized activity:
Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet
stream of Spring Pond.  A permit must be issued prior to the start of this
type of activity.  A review of the Department's files show that no permits
have been issued.

Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation
of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and
Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being
sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws annotated.
The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially
failed during a recent rain event, causing debris dams and flooding at
downstream locations.  We find that dams of this nature are inherently
hazardous and cannot be permitted.  The Department therefore orders you to
cease and desist all unauthorized activities at this location, and to
restore the stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush
forming the dams from the strewn channel.

All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, 1998.
Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that
a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff.

Failure to comply with this request, or any further unauthorized activity
on the site, may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement
action.  We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this
matter.

Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.

Sincerely,

David L. Price District Representative Land and Water Management Division

        ----Reply Letter----

Dear Mr. Price:

Re: DEQ File No.  97-59-0023; T11N, R10W, Sec 20; Montcalm County

Your certified letter dated 12/17/97 has been handed to me to respond to.
You sent out a great deal of carbon copies to a lot of people, but you
neglected to include their addresses.  You will, therefore, have to send
them a copy of my response.

First of all, Mr. Ryan DeVries is not the legal landowner and/or contractor
at 2088 Dagget, Pierson, Michigan - I am the legal owner and a couple of
beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of constructing and
maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the outlet stream of my Spring
Pond.  While I did not pay for, nor authorize, their dam project, I think
they would be highly offended you call their skillful use of natural
building materials "debris."  I would like to challenge you to attempt to
emulate their dam project any dam time and/or any dam place you choose.  I
believe I can safely state there is no dam way you could ever match their
dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam
persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.

As to your dam request the beavers first must fill out a dam permit prior
to the start of this type of dam activity, my first dam question to you is:
are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers or do you
require all dam beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam
request?  If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers,
please send me completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam
permits.  Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part
301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental
Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101
to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws annotated.

My first concern is - aren't the dam beavers entitled to dam legal
representation?

The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for
said dam representation - so the State will have to provide them with a dam
lawyer.  The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams
failed during a recent rain event causing dam flooding is proof we should
leave the dam Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and
calling them dam names.  If you want the dam stream "restored" to a dam
free-flow condition - contact the dam beavers - but if you are going to
arrest them (they obviously did not pay any dam attention to your dam
letter-being unable to read English) - be sure you read them their dam
Miranda rights first.  As for me, I am not going to cause more dam flooding
or dam debris jams by interfering with these dam builders.  If you want to
hurt these dam beavers - be aware I am sending a copy of your dam letter
and this response to PETA. If your dam Department seriously finds all dams
of this nature inherently hazardous and truly will not permit their
existence in this dam State - I seriously hope you are not selectively
enforcing this dam policy, or once again both I and the Spring Pond Beavers
will scream prejudice!

In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their
dam unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green, and
water flows downstream.  They have more dam right than I to live and enjoy
Spring Pond.  So, as far as I and the beavers are concerned, this dam case
can be referred for more dam elevated enforcement action now.  Why wait
until 1/31/98?  The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then, and
there will be no dam way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them
then.

In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention a real environmental
quality (health) problem: bears are actually defecating in our woods.  I
definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave
the dam beavers alone.  If you are going to investigate the beaver dam,
watch your step!  (The bears are not careful where they dump!)

Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact
you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam
office.

Sincerely,

Stephen L.Tvedten
xc: PETA

© 1998 Peter Langston