Fun_People Archive
16 Mar
The Comedian's-eye View of 3/17/98

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Mon, 16 Mar 98 17:50:10 -0800
To: Fun_People
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Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of  3/17/98

Excerpted-from: ShopTalk 3/17/98

                         Tuesday March 17, 1998

	"Jerry Springer said deaf people should have the same opportunity
	 as anybody else to feel ashamed of their country."
			- "The Daily Show's" Craig Kilborn
			  on Springer's new close-captioning

                               &&&&&&&&&&

Apocalypse Soon: Astronomers say a giant asteroid could collide with Earth
in 30 years. "They say the impact would have the explosive force of more
than two bags of olestra potato chips." (Jay Leno)

Asteroid II: "If this planet is wiped out in 2028, we'll never find out how
Ken Starr's investigation turns out." (Bill Maher)

Take a Number: "Larry King's favorite movie is 'Seven Brides for Seven
Brothers'--give or take six brothers." (Bob Somerby)

Barbie Uncensored: Mattel is suing a London men's magazine for publishing
pictures of Barbie and Ken dolls in sexual positions. "In a related story,
Hasbro is suing to keep a Pamela Lee-G.I. Joe sex tape off the Internet."
(Premiere Radio)

Dogs on Ice: Alaska's annual Iditarod dog-sled race is underway.  "This
year's race is surrounded by controversy because one of the dogs trashed
its hotel room and two others tested positive for marijuana." (Conan
O'Brien)

Book Ban: San Francisco's school board is still wrestling over a plan to
require that 70% of schoolbooks be by nonwhite authors. "To defuse the
controversy, the board is considering a compromise plan under which students
would read books only by Michael Jackson." (Joshua Sostrin)

Birthday Boy: Sam Donaldson turned 64 last week and got a special surprise
from his wife. "She woke up, remembered it was his birthday, started running
her fingers through his hair and decided to give him a call at the office."
(Steve Voldseth)
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