Fun_People Archive
15 Mar
The Comedian's-eye View of Monday 3/16/98

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Sun, 15 Mar 98 02:20:49 -0800
To: Fun_People
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Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of Monday 3/16/98

Excerpted-from: Monday 3/16/98- ShopTalk

                         Monday March 16, 1998


"I hate pants.  This is something I have inherited from my father.  He
despised pants, and my mother was never allowed to wear them at home.  I
still feel that way, and neither my mother nor Maria is allowed to go out
with me in pants."
			- Arnold Schwarzenegger

                               &&&&&&&&&&

Yo Quiero Comida: Texas researchers believe they have isolated the two
molecular structures responsible for telling the human brain when it's time
to eat. "One is a naturally occurring hormone. The other is a talking
Chihuahua." (Steve Voldseth)

Scalping: USA Networks has agreed to buy Ticketmaster for $400 million.
"Actually, when you add in all the service and processing charges, the real
price is closer to $500 million."  (Paul Steinberg)

MMMBlech: Members of Hanson plan to release material from their early years.
"What will that be, a sonogram?" (Jay Leno)

Late Fee: The Blockbuster Awards Show aired this week. "But a snafu wrecked
it. They went to show clips from the best film, and it was checked out."
(Leno)

Jacko: Michael Jackson's wife is due to give birth to their second child.
"Nobody could believe one, much less two. Most of us said they'd discover
water on the moon before that happened." (Hamilton)
[I thought it was "when the boy next door walks on the moon"...  -psl]

© 1998 Peter Langston