Fun_People Archive
13 Mar
Another reason to miss Yearbook Day at school.

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Fri, 13 Mar 98 18:31:52 -0800
To: Fun_People
Precedence: bulk
Subject: Another reason to miss Yearbook Day at school.

Forwarded-by: Nev Dull <nev@bostic.com>
Forwarded-by: Jim Thompson <jim@smallworks.com>
Forwarded-by: P Nathan <pacoid@fringeware.com>
Forwarded-by: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <i.stang@subgenius.com>
Forwarded-by: "Byron Werner" <hotwire@d2.com>
Forwarded-by: "Greg Maguire" <gregm@fa.disney.com>

Last week, I read an article about Monica Lewinsky, and discovered that she
attended the same elementary school that my younger brother attended.  While
I was visiting my parents, curiosity got to me and I decided to look her up
in the yearbook, from 1982.

Monica must have missed picture day, because not a single third-grader
resembled her (though I did find a picture of Tori "90210" Spelling who was
in Monica's class).  However, what I did find was even more entertaining.
A large section of the yearbook had stories and poems written by all the
students.

The third-grade students each wrote a poem called "I Am ----".  Some titles
include "I Am a Monster;" "I Am a Doll;" "I Am Pac-Man" (remember, this is
from 1982); and "I Am Superman."

I submit to you the poems by the two most famous third-graders.  This is
not a joke.

  I Am an elf
  by Tori Spelling

  I am an elf.
  My own little self.
  I am so small.
  You can't see me at all.
  If you ask what I eat,
  Only one small red beet.
  I can hide on a shelf.
  My own little self.
  I am an elf.


  I Am a Pizza
  by Monica Lewinsky

  I am a pizza.
  I can be a delicious lunch, dinner
  or breakfast, if you're weird.
  I have a great deal of toppings on me.
  I am a round and flat piece of dough
  with lots of toppings.
  I make your mouth water.
  I am very good to eat, but I'm
  fattening!
  I am a mouth's best friend.
  I make you say, "Yum, yum."
  I am a pizza.

© 1998 Peter Langston