Fun_People Archive
6 Mar
The Comedian's-eye View of 03/06/98

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Fri,  6 Mar 98 00:55:04 -0800
To: Fun_People
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Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of 03/06/98

Excerpted-from: 03/06/98 -- ShopTalk

                         Friday March 6, 1998

     "I want to be remembered as I always envisioned myself to be...
      taller, smaller nose, handsome, better teeth! Teeth like Matt
      Damon, really."
                        Academy Award Winner & Nominee Dustin Hoffman

                               &&&&&&&&&&

Legal Etiquette: Martha Stewart is suing the National Enquirer for claiming
she had a borderline personality disorder. "Her case will settle an
important legal issue: Should a subpoena be served before or after dinner?"
(Alan Ray)

For the Next Storm: "The rules for evacuating lifeboats in L.A. are women
and children first, then men who dress like women, then women who dress like
men, and then men." (Jay Leno)

Ships Ahoy: "Titanic" is the first film to earn $1 billion.  All that money
for a movie about a shipwreck.  "20th Century Fox is already working on its
next major film, 'Exxon Valdez.'" (Perisho)

Another Iceberg: The success of "Titanic" could affect the studio.  "It will
have to release three Kevin Costner movies by April 15 to convince the IRS
it was just another break-even year." (Hamilton)

"The British tabloid SUN is reporting that Camilla Parker Bowles is secretly
staying overnight with Prince Charles in his London home.  Elton John
immediately released "The Bitch is Back, 1998" in hopes of another big
payday." (Jim Rosenberg)

© 1998 Peter Langston