Fun_People Archive
10 Feb
X-Rated Zoo Tour

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Tue, 10 Feb 98 00:46:17 -0800
To: Fun_People
Precedence: bulk
Subject: X-Rated Zoo Tour

Forwarded-by: "Keith E. Sullivan" <KSullivan@worldnet.att.net>
Forwarded-by: Joseph Harper <joeha@microsoft.com>

X-RATED ZOO TOUR

San Francisco, California -- Jane Tollini is promising the hottest, raciest,
X-rated sex tour in the city -- at the San Francisco Zoo.

She's an animal keeper who will take some 700 Peeping Toms on a tour of the
giraffe pen, where 8-month-old Spot negotiates a harem of older females,
and the bird cages, where the hornbills practice bondage.

"Animals practice the same sexual rituals we do, but with a twist," Tollini
says.  "We even have homosexual wallabies and lesbian penguins."

The 90-minute Sex Tour, which starts -- appropriately -- on Valentine's Day
and lasts for eight days, is restricted to "mature audiences only."

Among the highlights:  penguins engaging in a month of foreplay, lions
procreating up to 50 times a day and koala bears that nearly maim each other
during 40 seconds of intercourse.

"Koalas are nasty little creatures that don't like each other very much,"
Tollini says.  "It's a rolling, tumbling thing for them and you have to
almost kick them apart or they will kill each other."

Tollini warns her Peeping Toms that some portions of the tour are not pretty
to watch.

"Rhinoceros sex is the most violent," she says.

The hour-long act can leave the female with painful gashes.  But this year,
the highlight is the product of one rough roll in the hay:  a 60-pound baby
rhino born three weeks ago.

The Sex Tour got its start seven years ago during penguin mating season.

On Valentine's Day, Tollini put red paper hearts in the penguins' iceberg
pond, then put on Johnny Mathis to set the mood.  The males gathered up the
hearts and brought them back to the mates' birthing dens.

As word of her sex tour grew, Tollini expanded the show.  Now, she also
discusses birth control and hormonal implants, and teaches visitors the
different methods of copulation for predatory and prey animals.

"I can't tell you how much I want a cigarette after this tour," she says.

© 1998 Peter Langston