Fun_People Archive
10 Feb
Miscellaneous Quotes - 2/10/98

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Tue, 10 Feb 98 00:41:55 -0800
To: Fun_People
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Subject: Miscellaneous Quotes - 2/10/98

Forwarded-by: "Keith E. Sullivan" <KSullivan@worldnet.att.net>

We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here
for I don't know.  --W.H. Auden

Authority makes some people grow -- and others just swell.

If you were to lay all the cigarettes smoked in just one day end to end
around the equator, a lot of those Third World countries probably wouldn't
let you do it.  --Ed Smith

The trouble with the guy who talks too fast is that he often says something
he hasn't thought of yet.

The chief danger in life is that one may take too many precautions.
--Alfred Adler

Law of Probable Dispersal:  Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be
evenly distributed.

The best way to be successful is to follow the advice you give others.

Illinois isn't exactly the land that God forgot -- it's more like the
land He's trying to ignore.

Too many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

It isn't hard to make a mountain out of a molehill.  Just add a little dirt.

While most peoples' opinions change, the conviction of their correctness
never does.

If little green men land in your back yard, hide any little green women
you've got in the house.  --Mike Harding, "The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac"

If you feel "dog tired" at night, maybe it's because you "growled" all day!

Youth is when you blame all your troubles on your parents; maturity is when
you learn that everything is the fault of the younger generation.

Grub first, then ethics.  --Bertolt Brecht

Ass, n.:  The masculine of "lass."

If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.  --Albert Einstein

The hardest secret for a man to keep is his opinion of himself.

As Will Rogers would have said, "There is no such things as a free
variable."

Osborn's Law:  Variables won't; constants aren't.

Even a woodpecker owes his success to the fact that he uses his head.

Give thought to your reputation.  Consider changing name and moving to a
new town.

The goal of Computer Science is to build something that will last at least
until we've finished building it.

...at least I thought I was dancing, 'til somebody stepped on my hand.
--P. Langston (attributed to J.B. White in 1974 as a joke)

If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is doing
the thinking.  --Lyndon Baines Johnson

He played the king as if afraid someone else would play the ace.
--John Mason Brown, drama critic

He who thinks by the inch and talks by the yard deserves to be kicked by
the foot.

The way to make a small fortune in the commodities market is to start
with a large fortune.

Roger's Law of Dieting:  If it tastes good, spit it out.

Justice, n.:  A decision in your favor.

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small package.

Arguments with furniture are rarely productive.  --Kehlog Albran, "The
Profit"

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.  --H.L. Mencken

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's
character, give him power.  --Abraham Lincoln

I am the mother of all things, and all things should wear a sweater.

Those who in quarrels interpose, must often wipe a bloody nose.

© 1998 Peter Langston