Fun_People Archive
7 Feb
The Comedian's-eye View of 2/9/98

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Sat,  7 Feb 98 11:49:04 -0800
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Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of 2/9/98

Excerpted-from: ShopTalk -- 2/9/98

                         Monday February 9, 1998

   "In addition to National Airport being re-named after Ronald Reagan, a
   movement is underway in Florida to change the name of a landing field
   which handles Colombian shuttle planes, to the 'George Bush Memorial
   Undisclosed Airstrip.'"
				-Craig Kilborn, The Daily Show

                               &&&&&&&&&&

Forest for the Trie: Campaign fund-raiser Charlie Trie surrendered to
authorities.  "Here's a philosophical question: If a Trie surrenders during
a sex scandal, does he make a sound?" (Daily Scoop)

McJunk: Americans can now join a Junk Food of the Month Club.  "So far, it's
not doing too well.  Customers are too lazy to get off the couch and pick
up the UPS delivery at the door." (Paul Steinberg)

Ear Patrol: Mike Tyson allegedly beat up promoter Don King.  "But King
wasn't hurt.  His hair broke his fall." (Paul Ecker)

Hypocrisy 101: Two photographers were found guilty of harassing Arnold
Schwarzenegger.  Arnie called it a victory against paparazzi.  "He made the
statement as he posed in front of the cameras." (Alan Ray)

Monica on the Rocks: A Washington bar has unveiled the "X-Tern," a cocktail
that honors the Clinton sex scandal.  It's made with a shot of 21-year-old
scotch, a dash of bitters =96"and is served in a Chap Stick-frosted glass."
(Olympia Daily World)

Ice Capade: Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan met face to face for the first
time since the bashing incident.  "Nancy had the most famous knees in the
world until Lewinsky came along." (Daily Scoop)

Clinton-Free Jokes: The FAA is working on its year-2000 problem, in which
a glitch will cause computers to think it's 1900.  "If they don't fix it,
however, air traffic controllers will have to start diverting flights to
Kitty Hawk." (Gary Easley)

Deep Thoughts: Shane Barbi of the Barbi Twins has left actor Ken Wahl after
four months of marriage.  "They were incompatible.  Shane insisted
Einstein's theory of relativity allows for time travel, while Ken said the
potential paradoxes make it a practical impossibility.  The marriage was
bound to fall apart." (Premiere Radio)

Tuckered Out: Texas executed Karla Faye Tucker despite pleas from the pope.
"First Cuba, now this.  Isn't anybody in this country listening to the
Pope?" (Daily Scoop)

© 1998 Peter Langston