Fun_People Archive
3 Feb
The Comedian's-eye View of Wednesday 2/4/98

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Tue,  3 Feb 98 22:07:21 -0800
To: Fun_People
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Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of Wednesday 2/4/98

Excerpted-from: Wednesday 2/4/98- ShopTalk

                        Wednesday February 4, 1998


"Kenneth Starr subpoenaed Secret Service logs to count the number of
Lewinsky's late-night visits to the White House.  But the figure
simply can't be ascertained. Turns out her code name was Pizza Hut."

                -Argus Hamilton

                               &&&&&&&&&&

Would You Like to Fry With That?: Texas is getting ready to execute Karla
Faye Tucker. Her lawyers thought the state would be nicer because she's a
woman. "But Texas is tough. They're making her cook her own last meal--and
when she goes to the electric chair, they're gonna leave the seat up."
(Jay Leno)

Hussein's Cantina: Secretary of State Madeleine Albright says the U.S. has
run out of options with Iraq. "Actually, we still have one threat that could
leave Saddam Hussein begging to comply: Kenneth Starr, arms inspector."
(Argus Hamilton)

Sacred Cow: A devout Hindu is suing Taco Bell for allegedly serving him a
beef burrito instead of the bean burrito he ordered. He said the forbidden
meat caused nausea, loss of sleep and many doctors visits. "In its defense,
Taco Bell said the same thing would've happened if he'd gotten the bean
burrito." (Dennis Miller)

Obligatory Clinton Joke: President Clinton's approval rating has gone up
11 points since the scandal broke, to 68%.  "Two more points and he can
start dating again." (Steve Voldseth)

© 1998 Peter Langston