Fun_People Archive
13 Jan
The Comedian's-eye View of 01/14/98

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Tue, 13 Jan 98 18:03:28 -0800
To: Fun_People
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Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of 01/14/98

Excerpted-from: 01/14/98 -- ShopTalk

                      Wednesday January 14, 1998

                               &&&&&&&&&&

Return to Sender: Unabomber suspect Ted Kaczynski tried to kill himself.
"With what? A stamped, self-addressed envelope?" (Jenny Church)

Reconstructing Woody: More on Woody Allen's new marriage. "Soon-Yi is
rumored to be pregnant with what would be her first baby and, inevitably,
Woody's fourth wife." (Craig Kilborn, Comedy Central)

Space Oddity: Russian cosmonauts ventured into space for three hours to fix
a broken lock on the Mir space station. "Is that what it's come to? You need
to lock your doors in outer space?" ("Saturday Night Live")

Poppin' Mad: Pillsbury is reportedly updating its doughboy mascot to better
reflect the 1990s. "Now when someone presses his tummy, he sues them for
sexual harassment." (Conan O'Brien)

Je t'aime: The latest "virtual pet" at toy stores is the "virtual lover."
Owners must provide virtual gifts, write virtual love letters and go on
virtual dates, all leading to a virtual wedding. "The toy is so realistic
it even comes with a virtual prenuptial agreement." (Olympia Daily World)

© 1998 Peter Langston