Fun_People Archive
8 Jan
The Comedian's-eye View of 01/09/98

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu,  8 Jan 98 17:50:50 -0800
To: Fun_People
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Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of 01/09/98

Excerpted-from: 01/09/98 -- ShopTalk

                         Friday January 9, 1998

   "He (Don Ohlmeyer) thinks I'm funny in those (SNL sketches), but I stink
    in those. He doesn't think I'm funny in 'Weekend Update.' God only knows,
    it's just a matter of opinion. He also thinks O.J. is innocent."

		- Norm Macdonald telling David Letterman why he was fired
		  as anchor of 'Weekend Update' on Saturday Night Live.

                               &&&&&&&&&&

Demerit Badge: The California Supreme Court is hearing arguments over
whether the Boy Scouts violated any laws by denying membership to gays.
"It seems to me that any group that walks around in scarves and little
shorts should not criticize somebody else's life."(Jay Leno)

Negative Image: There's controversy over a vacation photo that was printed
of President Clinton and his wife, Hillary, dancing in their swimsuits.
"Some people think it violates the first family's right to privacy; others
think it violates the public's right to never see the president and Hillary
in bathing suits."  (Conan O'Brien)

Cirque du OJ: In an interview with Esquire magazine, OJ Simpson said, "If
I killed my wife, it would've been because I loved her very much." "Wow, he
really stuck his Bruno Maglis in his mouth this time." (Daily Scoop)

Journalism 101: After a televised barking and hissing match between Buddy
the dog and Socks the cat, CNN brought on an animal behavior expert to
comment on what happened.  "Hello!  One's a dog and one's a cat.  Do we
really need an expert?" (Leno)

Tiananmen Stock Exchange: "Emboldened by their success in stopping a flu
virus by exterminating 1 million chickens, Chinese officials now plan to
deal with the Asian economic crisis by rounding up and killing a million
stockbrokers, economists and investors." (Roy Rivenburg)

The Verdict: The good news for Oklahoma bombing conspirator Terry Nichols
is that he escaped the death penalty.  "The bad news is he's been sentenced
to 20 years of downhill skiing." (Tom Allard)

Pro Bono: "Al Gore wants to require air bags on all trees." (Argus Hamilton)

Must Sink TV: NBC has paid $30 million to broadcast the film "Titanic."
"They plan to break the film up into 3-minute segments and air it on
Thursday nights under the name 'Seintanic.'" (Premiere Radio)

More Seinfeld: "Why is it always the good ones who leave?  How come you
never see, 'Urkel calls it quits?'" (Leno)

© 1998 Peter Langston