Fun_People Archive
15 Dec
The Comedian's-eye View of Tuesday December 16, 1997

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Mon, 15 Dec 97 23:17:02 -0800
To: Fun_People
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Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of Tuesday December 16, 1997

Excerpted-from: Tuesday December 16, 1997 -- ShopTalk

                       Tuesday December 16, 1997

   "Latrell Sprewell of the Golden State Warriors has been suspended ...
    trying to strangle his coach ... The good news: he's found work as
    a nanny."
				- Chris Rock

                               &&&&&&&&&&

Kiss and Latrell: "You can tell Johnnie Cochran has a hand in the defense
of Latrell Sprewell.  The fired NBA player now claims his coach was choked
by a squad of Colombian hit men." (Camille Brewster)

We Could've Used Latrell Here: Saxophonist-from-hell Kenny G recently set
a record by playing one note for more than 45 minutes.  "Now he's cashing
in.  He sold the rights to a car alarm company." (Joe Kevany)

Try Saying This 10 Times Fast: President Clinton recently attended four
fund-raisers in New York.  "Let me get this straight:  The president
attended four fund-raisers to raise funds to defend himself for his
fund-raising scandals." (Brewster)

Rest In (Honk!) Peace: Bozo the Clown passed away last week.  For years,
this redheaded clown in wild makeup was a daily fixture on Chicago TV.
"Fortunately, the city has Dennis Rodman to carry on the tradition." (Argus
Hamilton)

Name That Pooch: A contest is underway to name Clinton's new dog.  "The most
popular name sent in so far is Lucky.  But that's too confusing because it's
also Clinton's nickname.  (Jay Leno)

Pooch II: Other suggested names for the dog include Quarterpounder and
Subpoena.  (Paul Ecker)

Diamond-Studded Milk Bones?  "The president built an expensive doghouse for
the new puppy, but it's already paid for itself.  He rents it out to
campaign contribution for $50,000 a night." (Brewster)

"Ted Turner has suggested that the U.S.A. change its national anthem to
"America the Beautiful", since "The Star-Spangled Banner" is a war song.
He's also busy preparing for the next baseball season, in which he'll
demonstrate the Tomahawk Hug." (- Zack Taylor Westwood One Radio Network)
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