Fun_People Archive
24 Nov
Last Requests, Bolting, and Banjo Pain

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Mon, 24 Nov 97 18:50:10 -0800
To: Fun_People
Precedence: bulk
Subject: Last Requests, Bolting, and Banjo Pain

Forwarded-by: Dan Hunt <dan@opnsys.com>

Father O'Grady was saying his goodbyes to the parishioners after his Sunday
morning service as he always does when Mary Clancey came up to him in tears.

"What's bothering you, dear?" inquired Farther O'Grady.

"Oh, father, I've got terrible news."  Replied Mary.  "My husband passed
away last night."

"Oh, Mary" said Father O'Grady, "that's terrible!  Tell me Mary, did he have
any last requests?"

"Well, yes he did father," replied Mary.  "He said, 'Please, Mary, put down
the gun...'"

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"What's the difference between a nail, a screw and a bolt?" the shop teacher
asked Judy, the only girl in the shop class during the first day of school.

Judy pondered the question for a moment, then replied, "Well, I can't
rightly say as I know, 'cause I ain't never been 'bolted'."

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A young man went to his doctor complaining of pain.

"Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor.

"I hurt all over," said the man.

"What do you mean, 'all over'?" asked the doctor, "Can you be a little
more specific?"

The man touched his right knee with his index finger and yelled, "Ow, that
hurts."  Then he touched his left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts,
too."  Then he touched his right earlobe, "Ow, even THAT hurts", he cried.

The doctor looked at him thoughtfully for a moment and asked, "Are
you a banjo player?"

"Why, yes," he said.

"I thought so," said the doctor, "You have a broken finger."

© 1997 Peter Langston