Fun_People Archive
24 Nov
-=[ Dgtl ]=-

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Mon, 24 Nov 97 11:37:41 -0800
To: Fun_People
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Subject: -=[ Dgtl ]=-

Forwarded-by: Nev Dull <nev@bostic.com>

MAYNARD, MA.  Digital Equipment Corporation (DEC) today announced that it
has signed a letter of intent to sell all of the vowels in its corporate
name.  The deal would sell the vowels to a yet unnamed buyer.  If the deal
goes through the company would be known as Dgtl.

The letter deal follows close on the heals of the sale of Alpha chip
technology to Intel and the rumored sale of the networking equipment
division to Cabletron.

Dgtl spokes person, Niki Richardson, said that the vowels were not part of
the Dgtl's core business and long term strategy.  "We feel that our core
competencies lie more in the area of consonants," stated Richardson.

Further rumors stated that there was considerable discussion within the
company over whether to replace the missing letters with blanks or
apostrophes.  Apparently it was decided to use neither as a further cost
cutting measure.  However, Dgtl official strongly denied that the company
is attempting to raise enough cash to cover so called "golden parachutes"
for its executives.

Long time Dgtl watcher, Terry Shannon, stated that, "This move can only make
Dgtl a stronger company."  Other industry analysts, particularly those whose
entire livelihood does not depend on whether Dgtl exists, claim the move is
of questionable value.  James Morris, an analyst at International Data Corp
in Framingham, Massachusetts says, "I don't think the deal makes any sense,
I can't even pronounce Dgtl."

Dgtl expects to name the buyer within the next several weeks.

Dgtl stock remained unchanged after the news, as no one was quite sure
whether the stock symbol was still DEC or had now become DC.

© 1997 Peter Langston