Fun_People Archive
23 Nov
Quickies O' The Day - 11/10/97

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Sun, 23 Nov 97 12:23:09 -0800
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Subject: Quickies O' The Day - 11/10/97

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    News Quickies - November 10, 1997

President Clinton on Sunday became the first U.S. president to address a
gay rights group. Carried away by the moment, Clinton shouted to the roaring
crowd: "Icht bein eine Lesbian!" In a related item, today is the 28th
anniversary of Sesame Street.  "Longtime Companions" Bert and Ernie
celebrated quietly at home in the modest one bedroom apartment they share.

A teenager in Queens, New York, was shot after a federal agent mistook the
Three Musketeers candy bar in his hand for a gun. So remember:  guns don't
kill people. Candy bars kill people.

Porn actress Dalny Marga Valdez is suing the Screen Actor's Guild because
it won't give her membership, even though she's appeared in about 70 movies.
This hasn't come up before, because most porn actresses just use Charlie
Sheen's membership card.

For the first time in 75 years, the BBC will allow TV newscasters to appear
without neckties. They still, however, must wear those white powder wigs.

Right wingers are mad over a seminar at the State University of New York at
New Paltz on female sexuality which included discussions on lesbianism and
the proper use of sex toys and safe sadomasochism.  Talk like that should
stay where it belongs: on prime time network television.

Theaters are trying out assigned seats in a New York pilot program.  "Will
that be petting, heavy petting, or married and fighting?"

It doesn't take a genius to figure out it's TV sweeps week. My first clue
was FOX's "World's Scariest Push-Up Bra Unsnappings!"

A new book by Pulitzer Prize winning reporter Seymour M. Hersh says John F.
Kennedy was obsessed with sex. Hersh is also close to breaking the news that
the Pope is Catholic and a bear relieves himself in the woods.

© 1997 Peter Langston