Fun_People Archive
10 Oct
A Few Jokes of the Best Kind (dirty)

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Fri, 10 Oct 97 18:08:08 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: A Few Jokes of the Best Kind (dirty)

Forwarded-by: Eric Steese <ecscc@olywa.net>
Forwarded-by: LynnJA@aol.com

Q: What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
A: A bingo machine.

Q: What do you call a Florida gynecologist?
A: A spreader of old wives' tails...

Q: Why do women prefer old gynecologists?
A: They have shaky hands!

Q: What is the area between the vagina and the anus called?
A: The chin rest.

Q: How can you tell a Sumo wrestler from a feminist?
A: A Sumo wrestler has shaved legs.

Q: What's the difference between a band leader and a gynecologist?
A: A gynecologist sucks his fingers.

Q: What do you call a female midget who's nice and gives head?
A: Short, sweet, and to the point!

Q: What do cow pies and cowgirls have in common?
A: The older they get the easier they are to pick up.

Q: What do you get when you cross a vibrator with an anteater?
A: An armadillo.

Q: What is the biggest problem for an atheist?
A: No one to talk to during orgasm.

Q: What is Rodeo Sex?
A: Well, it's where your girl friend is on all fours, you are firmly
   esconced from the rear and you say to her, "This is the way your mom
   likes it too."  You have eight seconds to stay in the saddle.

Q: Did you hear about the new "morning after" pill for men?
A: It changes their blood type.

Q: What do Lifesavers do that a man can't?
A: Come in eight flavors.

Q: What happens if a woman puts her panties on backwards?
A: She gets her ass chewed out.

Q: What was the first obscenity ever heard on TV?
A: "Ward, weren't you a little hard on the Beaver last night?"

Q: Do you know why it's called sex?
A: No one can spell "Uhhhhh..oooohh...Ahhhhhh....AIIEEEEEEE!!!"

Q: What do you call a smiling Roman with pubic hair between his teeth?
A: Gladiator!

Q: Do you know what the square root of 69 is?
A: Ate something.

Q: But do you know what 6.9 is?
A: A good thing ruined by a period.

Q: What is 69 squared?
A: Dinner for 4.

Q: What is 68?
A: You do me and I owe you one.

Q: What is the difference between erotic sex and kinky sex?
A: During erotic sex you use a feather, during kinky sex you use the whole
   chicken.

Q: What goes in dry, comes out wet, and gives warm satisfaction?
A: A tea bag.

Q: What is the difference between "Oooh!" and "Aaah!"?
A: About three inches.

Q: If you go to bed 8 hours before you have to wake up, and your wife wants
   to have 2 hours of sex, how much sleep will you get?
A: 7 hours, 59 minutes - who cares what she wants!

Q: What do you do in case of fallout?
A: Put it back in and take shorter strokes!

Q: What did Adam say to Eve their first time?
A: You'd better stand back, I don't know how big this thing gets.

Q: When does a Cub Scout become a Boy Scout?
A: When he eats his first Brownie.

Q: What is the definition of wicker box?
A: It's what Elmer Fudd wants to do to Madonna.

© 1997 Peter Langston