Fun_People Archive
26 Sep
Ten Technologies Not Allowed in Congress

Content-Type: text/plain
Mime-Version: 1.0 (NeXT Mail 3.3 v118.2)
From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Fri, 26 Sep 97 12:00:42 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: Ten Technologies Not Allowed in Congress

Forwarded-by: "Jack D. Doyle" <doylej@peak.org>
Forwarded-by: dispatch@CNET.com

	TOP TEN TECHNOLOGIES NOT ALLOWED IN CONGRESS

Congress is debating the use of laptops in legislative sessions.  And there
are ten other technologies that are also in danger of being outlawed in our
halls of government:

10. Wristwatches and clocks: would help squash the ongoing "my filibuster
    is longer than yours" contest

9.  GPS: have to protect the map-vending machine in the lobby

8.  Magic Eight Ball: known to be more precise and perceptive than official
    congressional dartboard

7.  Television: would distract our elected officials way too easily

6.  Automobiles: walking to work in Washington, DC, might do them some good

5.  Electric toothbrushes: bad breath has been demonstrated to shorten
    legislative sessions by up to 40 percent

4.  Pagers:  oh, sorry, we meant *pages*

3.  Radios: there have been just too many fights over whether to listen to
    Stern or Limbaugh

2.  Calculators: let them add up campaign contributions by hand!

1.  Telephones: what--communicate with our constituency?

© 1997 Peter Langston