Fun_People Archive
25 Sep
The Comedian's-eye View of 09/26/97

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu, 25 Sep 97 17:31:38 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of 09/26/97

Excerpted-from: 09/26/97 -- ShopTalk

                       Friday September 26, 1997
                             &&&&&&&&&&

Ted Turner's $1-billion contribution to the United Nations is probably one
of the largest charitable contributions in history.  "Isn't that amazing,"
says Jay Leno.  "Turner had only one stipulation: He said the U.N. must now
be called Turner Classic Nations."

Archaeologists believe they've found the Queen Anne's Revenge captained by
Blackbeard in a North Carolina inlet.  "is this the definition of irony or
what?  A pirate ship is discovered and Senate hearings exposing the IRS
begin the same week." (Bob Mills)

Jay Leno says NBC's parent company, General Electric, once stood by Marv
Albert.  "Today," says Leno, "they named Marv Albert spokesman for the new
GE three-way bulb."

Leno again:  "I'm sorry, I'm a little old-fashioned.  This three-way sex
thing.  I don't get that.  I can't even figure out whose turn it is when
there's three cars at an intersection."

"This is too kinky," says Argus Hamilton of the sportscaster's trial.  "Six
times on Tuesday, the judge told Albert that he doesn't have to wear those
handcuffs; he's free on bail."

The Air Force has suspended training flights.  "The situation is so bad,
the cosmonauts aboard the Mir are now telling Air Force jokes." (Argus
Hamilton)
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