Fun_People Archive
24 Sep
Weird Local (USA) Sex Laws

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Wed, 24 Sep 97 12:06:47 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: Weird Local (USA) Sex Laws

[More evidence of how confused governments are about sex...  -psl]

Forwarded-by: Chris Ausbrooks <causbrooks@acic.state.ar.us>
Forwarded-by: Tim Tedford <ttedford@insweb.com>
Forwarded-by: Karen <hawk@voicenet.com>


Weird Local USA Sex Laws

No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions,
or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota. If his wife so requests,
law mandates that he must brush his teeth.

Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn't allowed to
take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with you-or holding
you in his arms.

Bozeman, Montana, has a law that bans all sexual activity between members
of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown-if they're
nude.  (Apparently, if you wear socks, you're safe from the law!)

During lunch breaks in Carlsbad, New Mexico no couple should engage in a
sexual act while parked in their vehicle, unless their car has curtains.

In Cleveland, Ohio women are not allowed to wear patent-leather shoes.

Clinton, Oklahoma has a law against masturbating while watching two people
having sex in a car.

It's safe to make love while parked in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho.  Police
officers aren't allowed to walk up and knock on the window.  Any suspicious
officer who thinks that sex is taking place must drive up from behind, honk
his horn three times and wait approximately two minutes before getting out
of his car to investigate.
[Hmmm... okay, there's one place with a law that makes sense...  -psl]

In Connorsville, Wisconsin no man shall shoot off a gun while his female
partner is having a sexual orgasm.

In Detroit, couples are not allowed to make love in an automobile unless
the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple's own property.

A law in Fairbanks, Alaska does not allow moose to have sex on city streets.

In Florida it is illegal for single, divorced, or widowed women to parachute
on Sunday afternoons.

In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania it is illegal to have sex with a truck driver
inside a toll booth.

The owner of every hotel in Hastings, Nebraska, is required to provide each
guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt. No couple, even if they are
married, may sleep together in the nude. Nor may they have sex unless they
are wearing one of these clean, white cotton nightshirts.

Another law in Helena, Montana, mandates that a woman can't dance on a table
in a saloon or bar unless she has on at least three pounds, two ounces of
clothing.

A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called master,
not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts.

An excerpt from brilliant Kentucky state legislation. "No female shall
appear in a bathing suit on any highway within this state unless she be
escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club".

The following important ammendment however is to be considered here:  "The
provisions of this statuate shall not apply to females weighing less than
90 pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds, nor shall it apply to emale horses."

In Kingsville, Texas there is a law against two pigs having sex on the
city's airport property.

Any couple making out inside a vehicle, and accidentally sounding the horn
during their lustful act, may be taken to jail according to a Liberty
Corner, New Jersey law.

In Los Angeles, California, a man is legally entitled to beat his wife with
a leather belt or strap, but the belt can't be wider than 2 inches, unless
he has his wife's consent to beat her with a wider strap.  Consent should
be given prior to the event, as is carefully stipulated.
[Not to be confused with the myth about "rule of thumb"'s origin ...  -psl]


In Merryville, Missouri, women are prohibited from wearing corsets because
"The privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young
woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male."

In Michigan, a woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's
permission.

In Nevada sex without a condom is considered illegal.

An ordinance in Newcastle, Wyoming, specifically bans couples from having
sex while standing inside a store's walk-in meat freezer!

In Norfolk, Virginia, a woman can't go out without wearing a corset.  (There
was a civil-service job-for men only-called a corset inspector.)

In Oblong, Illinois, it's punishable by law to make love while hunting or
fishing on your wedding day.

In Oxford, Ohio, it's illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while
standing in front of a man's picture.

In hotels in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, every room is required to have twin
beds. And the beds must always be a minimum of two feet apart when a couple
rents a room for only one night. And it's illegal to make love on the floor
between the beds!

A Tremonton, Utah law states that no woman is allowed to have sex with a
man while riding in an ambulance. In addition to normal charges, the woman's
name will be published in the local newspaper. The man does not receive any
punishment.

Utah state legislation outlaws all sex with anyone but your spouse.  Next
to that adultery, oral and anal sex, masturbation are considered sodomy and
can lead to imprisonment. Sex with an animal - unless performed for profit
- however is NOT considered sodomy. Polygamy - provided only the missionary
position has been applied - is only a misdemeanor.

In Ventura County, California cats and dogs are not allowed to have sex
without a permit.

The only acceptable sexual position in Washington D.C. is the
missionary-style position. Any other sexual position is considered illegal.

In Willowdale, Oregon no man may curse while having sex with his wife.

In the state of Washington there is a law against having sex with a virgin
under any circumstances. (Including the wedding night).

© 1997 Peter Langston