Fun_People Archive
11 Sep
Hey Who?

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu, 11 Sep 97 19:51:21 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: Hey Who?

Forwarded-by: <McMae@aol.com>
From: gcread@amp.com (Guy C Read)
Re: Hey Masturbata

Since turnabout is fair play, I figured we needed a distaff version of a
previous message.

You know the tune.


 Sittin' on the porch swing sort of rockin' all alona
 There's a tingle 'tween my thigh bones on accounta my hormon-a
 Lookin' for a green banana or a chunk of ring bologna
 Hey Masturbata.

 Just a little dab of KY or a squirt of Astro-Glide-a
 Wipe my fingers on a Kleenex then go on and open wide-a
 Back is humpin', heart's a pumpin', for the third time Aye-ay-aya.
 Hey Masturbata.

 Been a doer with a dildo since I found the old G-spot-a
 Used a candle or the handle of a plunger or fly-swatta
 Now my real life can't compare with all the fantasies I got-a
 Hey Masturbata.

 Robert Redford, Elvis Presley, Bruce Springsteen or Jake Lamotta
 Any man I want I get -  I close my eyes and fill my twat-a
 They never snore or gripe 'bout sleepin' on the big wet spot-a,
 Hey Masturbata.

 Men are shits and men are pigs and never write and never call ya
 But a cucumber's dependable and never splashes on the wall-a
 And you never have to fake it with a piece of fresh  Kielbasa
 Hey Masturbata.

© 1997 Peter Langston