Fun_People Archive
9 Sep
How to be the Perfect Asian American Family (fwd)

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Tue,  9 Sep 97 03:00:04 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: How to be the Perfect Asian American Family (fwd)

Forwarded-by: calani@netcom.com (Cal Herrmann)
Forwarded-by: alix.herrmann@di.epfl.ch
Forwarded-by: Zul <joke@cheerful.com>

	How to be the Perfect Asian American Parent
	(from the second generation perspective)

 1.Be a little more lenient on the 7:00 p.m. curfew.
 2.Don't ask where the other point went when your child comes home with
   a 99 grade on his/her report card.
 3.Don't "ai-yah" loudly at your kid's dress habits.
 4.Don't blatantly hint about the merits of Habadu (Harvard), Yeil (Yale),
   or Purinsuton (Princeton).
 5.Don't reveal all the intimate details of your kid's life to the entire
   Asian community.
 6.Don't ask your child, "What are you going to do with your life?" if
   he/she majors in a non-science field.
 7.Don't give your son a bowl haircut or your daughter two acres of bangs.
 8.Don't try to set your kid up on a date in anticipation of their poor
   taste or inept social skills.
 9.Incorporate other phrases besides, "Did you study yet?" into your daily
   conversations with your children.
10.Don't ask all your kid's friends over the age of 21 if they have a
   boy/girlfriend yet.


	How to be a Perfect Asian Kid
	(from the first generation perspective)

 1.Score a perfect 1600 on the SAT.
 2.Play the violin or piano on the level of a concert performer.
 3.Apply to and be accepted by 27 colleges.
 4.Go to a prestigious Ivy League university and win enough scholarship
   money to pay for it.
 5.Have four hobbies: studying, studying, violin/piano, and studying.
 6.Love classical music and detest talking on the telephone.
 7.Become a Westinghouse, Presidential and eventually a Rhodes Scholar.
 8.Aspire to be a brain surgeon.
 9.Marry an Asian-American doctor and have perfect, successful children
   (grandkids for omma and apba!).
10.Love to hear stories about your parents' childhood... especially the
   one about walking 20 miles to school without shoes.
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