Fun_People Archive
6 Jun
The Comedian's Eye View of 6-9-97

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Fri,  6 Jun 97 17:25:26 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: The Comedian's Eye View of 6-9-97

Excerpted-from: 6-9-97- ShopTalk

                         Monday June 9, 1997

		"They're calling Matthew Perry's room at Hazeldon Rehab
		Clinic the 'Chandler Pavilion.'"
				- Craig Kilborn, "The Daily Show"

Military Affairs: Defense Secretary William Cohen said that the leading
candidate to be chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Air Force Gen. Joseph
Ralston, had an affair in the '80s.  While some in Congress called the
general an embarrassment, President Clinton called him "highly qualified to
be in my administration."  (Jerry Perisho)

Another military scandal surfaced when the commander of the Aberdeen Proving
Grounds resigned as a result of having an affair. "And many said President
Clinton's policies would never gain acceptance in military circles."
(Johnny Robish)

Meanwhile, Congress voted to make Bob Hope an honorary veteran of the armed
forces.  That's the good news.  The bad news is that as soon as it's
official, Rosemary Clooney is going to sue him for sexual harassment."
(Argus Hamilton)

Prom Season and the First Family: The Clintons attended daughter Chelsea's
senior prom.  Hillary didn't wear a corsage, says Alan Ray.  You can't pin
anything on her.

McDonald's cancels the 55-cent price on Big Macs and other sandwiches,
citing confusion by the public and franchises.  "After the Arch Deluxe
debacle and now this, McDonald's now has a tote board outside listing the
number of marketing ploys the public didn't buy so far this year." (Bob
Mills)

Our Daffy Congress: Lawmakers finally passed aid for victims of last month's
floods. But they added amendments that will get it vetoed.  By the time the
flood relief finally gets signed, says Hamilton, North Dakota will need the
money for drought relief.

© 1997 Peter Langston