Fun_People Archive
29 May
The Comedian's Eye View of 05/30/97

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu, 29 May 97 17:42:31 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: The Comedian's Eye View of 05/30/97

Excerpted-from: 05/30/97 -- ShopTalk

                         Friday May 30, 1997

     "According to USA Today, more people than ever are seeking treatment
      for sex addiction.  The article says you may be a sex addict if you
      constantly need sex, think about sex, or if your last name rhymes with
      Schmennedy."
							- Conan O'Brien

                               &&&&&&&&&&


World View: "NATO and Russia have signed a pact in which they pledge to
defend each other against obsolescence." (Gary Easley)

"The two will share information, ideas, villains for movies." (Cutler Daily
Scoop)

"The new president of Iran, Mohammad Khatami, has been described as a
moderate.  Already, he is considering, whether it is OK to wear dark gray."
(Easley)

"First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton told a crowd in Amsterdam that without
women's work, the global economy would collapse overnight," says Argus
Hamilton.  "She's right.  If Andrea Mitchell doesn't keep Alan Greenspan
happy, it's the end of us all."

The archbishop of Canterbury spent the weekend marking 1,400 years of
Christianity in England, says Bob Harris.  "In 597, St. Augustine arrived
in Canterbury, where he was welcomed by villagers with gifts and songs and
a short speech by Strom Thurmond."

The Prez: The Supreme Court says Paula Jones can sue Bill Clinton while he
is still in office.  "The president argues such a case will interfere with
the workings of his administration," says Alan Ray.  "He won't be able to
testify in any other trials."

"It was great news inside the doghouse," says Hamilton.  "Frank Gifford,
Marv Albert and Kelly Flinn just got a fourth for bridge."

"President Clinton's only hope for immunity is an act of Congress.  He's
accused of sexually harassing a woman who worked for him and lying about
it.  If that isn't an act of Congress, I don't know what is."  (Hamilton)

The court does suggest the case could be delayed for non-immunity reasons.
"Yeah.  For fall sweeps." (Daily Scoops)

The house in Hope, Ark., where Bill Clinton lived until he was 4 has been
opened to visitors, says Bob Mills. "It will serve as a temporary exhibit
until the log cabin he was born in can be built."

The Industry: "It would have been great to be the screenwriter for 'The Lost
World,'" says Alex Kaseberg.  "I wouldn't mind getting paid big bucks to
write 'Dinosaur runs amok.  Repeat.'"

The National Spelling Bee started Wednesday.  "One young contestant from
Hollywood was tripped up with 'tyrannosaurus.'  He spelled it
b-o-x-o-f-f-i-c-e-g-o-l-d."  (Kaseberg)

"In its latest promotional tie-in with Disney, McDonald's will sell
collections of songs form Disney musicals.  They will be packaged with
McDonald's new Sappy Meals."  (Alex Pearlstein)

A filmmaker lost a $50-million suit accusing Pamela Anderson Lee of backing
out of a movie.  "Lee won on a technicality.  The agreement called for her
to act in the movie, and, well, she can't."  (Kaseberg)

© 1997 Peter Langston